Here’s a fun fact: Everybody’s got an asshole! No, not everyone is an asshole. ;) Seriously, though, everyone does have an anus. And everyone’s booty holes have a plethora of sensitive nerve endings both around them as well as all up in there. Regardless of your sexual orientation, butt play is here for you!
It’s also worth noting that, as sexpert Tyomi Morgan puts it, “[a]nal masturbation isn’t just about the pursuit of getting off, it’s also about connecting with one of your erogenous zones that have been culturally stigmatized as a ‘taboo area.”
In other words, when we love on ourselves in this way, we’re demonstrating that we are reclaiming an area that’s often associated with shame or derision. And there’s something kind of beautiful about that — it’s like a concrete way of engaging in healthy self-acceptance.
So whether you’re engaging in non-binary, male, or female anal masturbation, your sexual health is served by getting all lovey on your anal area. Even if you don’t go “all the way” to anal insertion, you can experience a whole lot of pleasure and self-love in this area.
What’s great about anal masturbation
First off, what is masturbation? Simple put, it’s the act of stimulating yourself for pleasure. One of the best parts about exploring anal is that, as clinical sexologist Caitlin V., MPH puts it, “The anal opening and canal have a wealth of nerve endings that are primed for pleasure.”
In other words, there are a lot of good feelings on the way to you if you choose to go down this road. If you’ve ever been curious about your rectum, solo anal masturbation is a great place to start!
And just for the record, you don’t need to do an anal douche before engaging in anal play. Your GI tract is actually pretty on it when it comes to keeping waste away from the anal opening. According to Healthline, “Your rectum is a marvelous thing that’s designed to keep poop up high until it’s time to have a bowel movement.”
So whether you’re interested in anal masturbation just for the fun of it, or you’re looking to use toys like butt plugs or a prostate massager to get ready for possibly having a cock up there at some point, the rule is the same: You don’t have to squirt anything up there to prep. You can just clean the area well beforehand with simple, gentle soap and water. Or as Healthline puts it, “A good wash in the bath or shower should take care of any stragglers.”
Yes, anal orgasms are real — for both men and women
Now let’s talk about anal masturbation and the big O. You may have heard of P-spot orgasms and know that orgasms in the anal cavity are possible for prostate owners. Right, but did you know it’s actually totally possible for all sexes to experience this holy grail?!
According to Gabrielle Kassel of Women’s Health, “Yes, anal sex can be enjoyable. And yes, anal orgasms are totally a thing. Simply put, an anal orgasm is a climax achieved by stimulation of high-density nerve spots in the anus.”
To get a little more specific, Sheila Loanzon, MD, a fellow at the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, points out that the legs of the clitoris extend way back and into the anus. We tend to think of the clit as a very small button-like nub above the vaginal opening, but that’s actually just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
The clitoris is actually much larger than you might think, and as Loanzon says, “There are shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina, so for vagina owners, it may be possible for sexual arousal to occur from rectal stimulation.”
So how do you do it?
Now for a few practical tips when it comes to anal masturbation:
1. Lube up!
Unlike other parts of the body, your booty doesn’t generate any lubrication on its own. Ya gotta help it out here. You’ll want to use a lube that’s body-safe and healthy, and possibly more viscous than not. It’s also important that you’re in a relaxed state, so do only what is comfortable or try out guided masturbation.
You get to experiment here — there’s water-based lube, which tends to play well with silicone toys, and then there’s silicone lube or hybrid lubes that can play well with non-silicone toys. You’re going to want to test things out and see what feels good. Glass toys are compatible with any kind of lube you’ve got.
2. Start slow, and try it with a finger first
One of the best and most important tips is to start slow and work your way up. You don’t want to go from nothing to penetration all at once, for example. Life is a process, and so is this!
Remember that there are lots of nerve endings around both the perineum as well as the anal opening itself, so spread some lube on your finger or fingers and start exploring! If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can wear a finger condom or even a full (body-safe) glove. Some anal kits will even include these.
Also, pro tip: You really wanna make sure your fingernails are trimmed. You don’t want any sharp edges near your sweet, tight ass. The last thing you want is unprompted bleeding from unskilled anal stimulation.
3. Get a basic anal sex toy
One thing you’ll likely notice when flying solo around your booty hole is that anal fingering with your own finger or fingers can be kind of awkward. It’s great to start with, but if you’re looking to engage in some more pleasurable penetration of your booty hole, you’re gonna want an anal toy or toys. Honestly, this is just ergonomically more practical.
There are lots of options here, one of which is an anal wand. This is going to help you reach back there more comfortably, and you can also get wands, prostate massager, or other anal toys that have a vibrator in them, so you can get a whole lot more sensation going (this is very fun).
4. Perhaps move up to more advanced anal toys …
… like anal beads!
Anal beads can get all the way up there in your anal canal and be super pleasurable both to insert as well as to take out. According to sex educator Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, “That moment when the sphincter muscles relax and the anus opens up to allow something inside can be very pleasurable, and that is part of the appeal of anal beads.”
What’s great about anal beads is that “[y]ou can experience that moment several times in a row.” According to Glamour, “To get this kind of anal pleasure, you can put anal beads in (or take them out) one at a time, while experienced users can pull them out all at once for more intense stimulation. “Some people like to take them out just as they are about to orgasm to send them over the edge,” says Taormino.
You can also try a graduated butt plug set (also known as anal training sets). These are especially helpful if you’re looking to advance to full-on anal sex at some point. A lot of people really enjoy butt plugs on their own, as well, especially for a “full” sensation.
5. If you’ve got a prostate, go for that P-spot!
For real, if you’re a prostate owner and you haven’t gone here yet, you’re definitely going to want to put “prostate orgasm” on your bucket list. These are some of the most intense orgasms reported by men/prostate-owners.
You may wonder what the difference is between a “regular” ejaculatory orgasm and an intense orgasm that involves the prostate gland. Well, in the words of one man:
“In my experience, P-spot orgasms are really different from penile ones. When I cum via penile stimulation, it feels like a quick and heavy punch to my pleasure center, followed by a really nice burst/release; prostate orgasms are much more intense and drawn out. At some point, I usually start oozing cum [with a prostate orgasm], which can go on for quite a while. I liken this all to an ocean wave on the beach, undulating between crashing up the shore and receding back down to the sea, only to come back once more.”
The way another man described it, “It's like the difference between seeing a movie in standard definition and then discovering IMAX. You can enjoy the movie in both formats, but one is noticeably better. A penile orgasm is quick; the waves of pleasure that come with it are standard and expected. You may have a low refractory period and can get back into play immediately after your first orgasm and may come again. With prostate orgasms, you don't have a refractory period. You can experience the immense pleasure of your orgasm and then extend it, continuing stimulation so that you experience multiple orgasms.”
Convinced? Then you may be ready for the world of prostate massagers. These puppies are designed to get all up in there and help you experience that high-def petit mort. Again, some of these adult sex toys include vibration, and some don’t. Experiment to see what delights you most!
6. If you’re headed towards full-on anal sex, try a dildo
If one of your goals is actually to prep for penetrative anal sex, you can use a dildo, or even a suction-cup dildo, to mimic what that’ll actually be like. Again, you don’t want to start here — this is something you work up to — but if you’ve prepped enough, it can be wonderful to practice or even just to enjoy these kinds of sensations on your own.
In the words of Healthline writer Jamie J. LeClaire, “Most dildos can be used for solo anal penetration. As long as it has a base to prevent your bum from sucking it up and you’re comfortable with its size, you’re good to go.”
Now what are you waiting for? You get to write your own sex stories. It’s time to add Astonishing Anal Adventures to your book. ;)