Is reaching an orgasm every time a just fairytale?
There are people who fall on either side of the proverbial fence-those who orgasm every time they have sex and those who never orgasm when they have sex. And, we can’t forget about those who fake orgasms so they can have mythical simultaneous orgasms.
Be honest. Where do you fall?
Whatever your orgasm patterns are, trust me when I tell you that there’s always room for improvement. And, this the secrets that will be incredibly enjoyable to try.
Let’s get to work!
Why Don’t People Orgasm?
There can be a multitude of factors when it comes to reasons why someone has difficulty reaching orgasm. Many factors have to do with unknown stress or pressures, not knowing key secrets, and not having the right information to make your partner play better.
I have four secrets to share with you that have helped many patients in my care. I’m sharing them with you with the hope that they can help you reach your orgasm goals as well.
I’ve found that acronyms are a great way to remember key information. So, allow me to introduce you to MAPS. These secret tips will serve as your own map to a more fulfilling orgasmic journey!
M = Mindset
A = Anatomy
P = Patience
S = Stimulation
These four pieces fit together to bring you closer to reaching orgasms. Every time.
M = Mindset
Did you know that your brain is your largest sexual organ? The brain is a more powerful sexual organ than genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from.
This means you need to prepare your own mindset before sexual encounters.
Take time to identify what your body responds to. For some, it’s written text where erotica incites. For others, visual stimulation helps increase blood flow. Auditory stimulation also works for some. But for many, being able to close your eyes and fantasize about your upcoming encounter can set the perfect mood. Your brain can create the perfect fantasy for you.
Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found pleasurable benefits in putting your partner’s sexual needs ahead of your own. This means getting yourself in the right frame of mind and focusing on your partner during sex play can increase pleasure and may result in more frequent orgasms.
A = Anatomy
I’ve worked with patients who don’t know their own sexual anatomy. Since our school system doesn’t provide a lot of insight into such intimate topics, it’s not a surprise that some people’s knowledge falls short when it comes to sexual anatomy.
The good news? It’s never too late to learn!
Female Anatomy: Did you know that the clitoris has a hood? In the female anatomy there is a fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris. It’s known as the clitoral hood and is meant to protect the sensitive clitoris from friction or rubbing.
Clitorises have been found to be the main source of orgasms and sexual pleasure.
Being able to locate the clitoris intimately and accurately is a good step in reaching orgasms at a more regular pace.
Keep in mind that in most cases the clitoris becomes larger when aroused, and its larger size is enough to allow it to protrude from underneath the clitoral hood. However, some people are born with larger clitoral hoods that can impact their clitorises, dampening sensations and keeping the clitoris trapped under the hood. And, occasionally clitoral hoods can become stuck closed.
According to research by The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 23% of women who visited a sexual medicine clinic for any reason had clitoral adhesions where the hood had become stuck. These adhesions can interfere with clitoral pleasure and can impact a person’s ability to reach orgasm.
Interestingly enough, one of the best ways to keep your clitoris healthy is to stimulate it on a regular basis.
The more you know about your own sexual anatomy, the more pleasure can be experienced.
Male Anatomy: Did you know that there is the equivalent of a clitoris near the tip of the penis?
On the underside of a penis head there an area called the frenulum. The function of the frenulum to help the foreskin protect the head of the penis. In most circumcision surgeries, the frenulum and foreskin are surgically divided, leaving the frenulum undisturbed.
The frenulum is one of the most sensitive parts of the penis and is highly reactive to touch.
A person with a penis can experience an orgasm just from frenulum stimulation alone. To stimulate the frenulum, there are many items that can be used, including a mouth, finger, vibrator, or masturbator.
By knowing how to better stimulate your own and your partner’s body, the more apt you are to regularly reach orgasm.
P = Patience
Sex can be a lot about patience. While a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine shared that the estimated ideal duration for sex was somewhere in between seven to fifteen minutes, the study didn’t include time spent on foreplay and afterplay.
For two out of five women, orgasms happen during foreplay and not during intercourse. Extensive research by Elisabeth Lloyd, author of The Case of the Female Orgasm, found only 25% of women consistently orgasm during penetrative sex.
Even more interesting, according to a published socioaffective neuroscience & psychology study, 50% of women cannot reach orgasm if sex lasts less than ten minutes.
This means taking your time, not rushing the experience, and acknowledging that an orgasm may happen without actual intercourse. Knowing these facts may help a person reach more orgasms and encounter less frustration.
S = Stimulation
According to research published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health, 90% of women were able to reach orgasm when their partners used oral and manual stimulation.
Adding vibration, suction, and other pleasure stimulation via pleasure products can help orgasms happen. According to research published in the National Library of Medicine, the use of vibrators are positively related to arousal, lubrication, satisfaction, and ultimately orgasm.
Dr. Sunny’s Stimulation Recommendations
For Women: Clitoral Stimulators can have a huge impact.
- PinkCherry Happy Little Sucker Clitoral Stimulator
- PinkCherry Baby Nubby Rechargeable Mini Wand
- PinkCherry Mini Silicone Clitoral Pump
For Men: Products that heighten sensitivity can enhance orgasms.
2 Bonus Quick Tips to Reach More Orgasms!
Here are two more quick tips that can help you reach more frequent orgasms.
#1 – Rock Your Pelvis
Rocking your pelvis is more than just meeting your partner thrusts. Lifting ones’ pelvis over and over engages and energizes all the pelvic floor muscles and can help women have more orgasms.
#2 – Wear Socks
According to research by Dr Gert Holstege, of the Centre for Uro Neurology at the University of Groningen, a comfortable climate can be important for orgasms. His research discovered 80% of subjects were able to reach orgasm while wearing socks.
Are you going to try a couple of these orgasm tips? I would love to hear from you! Share your experiences, tips, and orgasmic results. Have a question about sex or sex toys? Let me know! I am here to help.