Ask Dr. Sunny

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  • Hi @Walter,

    Thank you so much for reaching out! You and your husband are in for a lot of fun. There’s a reason they’re called ‘toys’. Pleasure products can bring a sense of playfulness and connection to a relationship.

    I’m going to start with external stimulation suggestions and then add some internal recommendations.

    For a truly unique sensation experience, I recommend the Optix Main Squeeze Stroker. If you’ve never tried vibration before and aren’t sure if you want to start with that type of stimulation, this may be a perfect option since its sensation is pressure, which is controlled by your hand. Plus, its textured shaft is visible so you can see the experience as well as feel it. This makes it a great couple toy. (PS: make sure to use plenty of lubricant to minimize friction)

    For dual masturbation, I would suggest the Private Pulsating Turbo Stroker. At just over 5 inches, or 127 millimeters, it’s long enough (and flexible enough) for the heads of both penises to be stimulated at the same time, almost like docking. It can also be placed around both penises if frot is preferred. It can also be used for penis stimulation personally or for mutual masturbation enjoyment.

    Tom of Finland also makes a Head-to-Head Masturbator that my gay patients have recommended for both pleasure and intimate connection.

    Cock rings are fun and an easy way to try out vibration before making a more expensive commitment. I particularly like Screaming O’s Color Pop Quickie Vibrating Cock Ring. This cock ring is very stretchy, which makes it easy for a beginner to put on the base of the penis shaft. It can also be worn around the testicles as well. And, this is my favorite part, it can be used with or without vibration. It’s easy to turn off if the vibration is too much. And by having the cock ring restrict blood in your penis, it makes the penis more sensitive to sex play stimulation.

    Please keep in mind that cock rings are not meant to be worn for longer than 20 minutes at a time because of blood restriction. I ask that you start slow and pay attention to your body and what can work for you and your husband.

    If you and your husband are fans of vibration, I would suggest the Classix Dual Vibrating Ball Teaser, which cups the testicles and has 2 vibrating bullets. One partner can wear the Ball Teaser and the other can be in control of the vibration. The spinning dial can allow for low, or intense, vibration—or anything in between. It can provide a powerful orgasmic experience.

    For internal pleasure, there’s nothing like a vibrating prostate massager. For you and your husband, @Walter, I would suggest the We-Vibe Vector. It’s slim and incredibly flexible with 10 types of vibration to enjoy. But why I believe it’ll become a favorite is because the vibration patterns can be customized AND it can be controlled via remote control or on a We-Vibe app on your smartphone. While prostate toys are most often solo-focused, the Vector is a great toy for couples. (PS: try wearing it during masturbation and you may enjoy a simultaneous blended orgasm)

    Another internal pleasure toy that I recommend checking out is Rimmer’s Model R Smooth Rimming Plug. This smooth silicone tapered anal plug has rows of twisting beads and a rotating tip, which packs a punch when it comes to pleasure. I cannot explain the unique sensations but encourage you to give it a try because it’s quite wonderful. And it’s also controlled via a remote control so that either one of you can control the stimulation for a partnered experience.

    @Walter, I hope these suggestions are helpful! I enjoyed being able to guide you in this fun journey. If you have any other questions, please send them my way.

    Dr. Sunny

    Dr. Sunny
  • Hi my husband and I are wondering what sex toys are great for two gay guys.

  • Hello @Wonder,

    Thank you so much for your lovely message! I agree that it’s difficult to know where to start with all the different products available. I appreciate you allowing me to offer you and your husband some insight.

    First, I’d like to direct you to an article I wrote here on PinkCherry that may be helpful. In this article I offer advice and suggest a few products that may work for you and your husband –

    ED is very common. It seems to be more prevalent in men as they age. I commend you for seeking solutions and being a good partner! It sounds like you both have a solid relationship and I appreciate that you want to help him.

    I agree that a strap-on for him may not be your best option. I would check out vacuum pumps to help draw blood flow into the penis to help with obtaining an erection. A simple version that’s easy to use would be the best place to start. And then the use of a stretchy silicone cock ring (also called an erection ring) helps to maintain the erection. I believe there are links to products in my article, but please feel free to reach out again if you would like me to choose something specific just for you. Just so you know, the difference in a rubber and silicone cock ring is that rubber is stretchy, therefore easier to put on for many beginners. Silicone, while less porous and more hygienic, is less stretchy, which can make it a bit more difficult to put onto the base of the shaft of the penis.

    There are some cock ring sets that offer different sizes. This can be handy since a cock ring can be worn around the penis and around the testicles to help further delay ejaculation.

    As with any device that restricts blood flow, please do not wear cock rings for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

    Also, with regards to vibration, I would suggest a vibrating cock ring. Basically, wearing a cock ring with vibration makes his penis into a vibrator. (And that’s fun!) Keep in mind that vibration can have a slight “numbing” effect on some penises, so this is something to note just in case your hubby is sensitive to sensations.

    Please let me know if this information is helpful @Wonder and will get you started. I’m here if you have any other questions that I can help with.

    Dr. Sunny

    Dr. Sunny
  • We are a retired couple. My husband has ED. We want to explore what sex toys would work for us as a couple. Find it overwhelming with what is available out there. I do definately want a safe product. I have read that Silicone is the preferred . Can you recommend where we can start. I have seen pictures of the strap on for men. not sure how this would provide pleasure for my spouse.? So many vibrators….how do we decide? Your thoughts and advice are welcomed.

  • @Looking for an answer, I’m happy to hear your procedure went well and you’re on the road to recovery! Thank you for reaching out to find out what may be next.

    To get readers up to date, a robotic radical prostatectomy is a type of minimally invasive surgery which uses surgical robotic equipment to remove the entire prostate and surrounding lymph nodes.

    The most common side effect after this type of procedure is urinary incontinence. The good news is that Michigan Medicine reports that urinary incontinence usually clears up after prostate treatment.

    I suggest starting with pelvic floor exercises to help strengthen the muscles that support your bladder, intestine, and rectum. Because you’re still in recovery, I urge you to start slowly.

    Pelvic floor, or Kegel, exercises can be done by tightening, holding, and releasing the muscles in your pelvic floor. By stopping your urine mid-stream, you’ve isolated your pelvic floor muscles. Start by tightening these muscles, holding for three seconds, and releasing. Try it a few times in a row. Please don’t rush or try too many as you start this process.

    As you become more healed, you can help pelvic floor muscles get stronger by doing these exercises while standing or walking.

    Additional healthy tips to keep in mind as you heal are to cut back on caffeine and alcohol, eat high fiber foods, and allow yourself to go to the bathroom as often as you feel it’s needed since you’ll likely feel like using the bathroom several times a day.

    With regards to sexual activities, I’m hoping that your own doctor has informed you of the side effects of this procedure. Everyone is unique, but for a period of time after your surgery you may not be able to obtain an erection. Be patient as you heal.

    It’s also important to know that some men lose the ability to ejaculate after this type of procedure because the prostate gland, which makes some of the fluid in semen, is removed.

    Your physician should be able to connect you with support services and counselors who can help you navigate any side effects that you may experience.

    I wish you a safe and speedy recovery @Looking for an answer. Please let me know if there are any additional questions that I may be able to help with.

    Dr. Sunny

    Dr. Sunny
  • Hi @Alex,

    Thank you for reaching out. I hope I can be able to help.

    For readers who aren’t familiar with Zoloft, it can be used to treat depression. Many antidepressants are known to cause sexual side effects, most often lowering libido. However, Zoloft in particular has been known to delay orgasm in male patients. @Alex, this may be what’s causing your current situation.

    I do have patients that have experienced erection assistance from pleasure products, such as vacuum penis pumps, cock rings, and cock cages.

    Let’s start with vacuum penis pumps. Many people use pumps due to difficulty in being able to reach a full erection.

    I would suggest starting with a beginner pump –

    Pumps work by using suction to draw blood flow into the penis. Once engorged, a cock ring can be placed around the base of the penis to help keep blood in the shaft.

    A cock ring can restrict the blood flow from an erect penis. I recommend a stretchy round version for beginners and this set comes in three sizes for you can find a size that works best for you –

    Next, I would further ask that you consider a cock cage. A cock cage is the equivalent of multiple cock rings with its lengthy design. Cock cages can not only help restrict blood inside an erect penis, they may provide a greater level of rigidity and firmness that some people need.

    With all of these devices, I ask that you start slow and pay attention to your body and what can work for you. For cock rings and cock cages, they are not meant to be worn for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

    @Alex, I hope this information is helpful to you. Please let me know if you have any additional questions or if there is anything else I can help with.

    Dr. Sunny

    Dr. Sunny

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Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.