Ask Dr. Sunny

Hi @Dawna,

There may be a couple of things that are going on. First, it’s quite possible that it isn’t urine, but female ejaculatory fluid that you’re expelling. It’s common to feel the need to urinate when experiencing this, especially with G-spot stimulation. You can read more about this here – https://www.pinkcherry.ca/blogs/ask-dr-sunny/erogenous-zones-and-the-g-spot

According to Healthline, it’s also possible to leak some urine during sex because penetration can apply pressure to the bladder and urethra.

The National Association for Continence reports that urinary incontinence, including during sexual activities, may be due to Stress Urinary Incontinence (SUI). They stress that this situation occurs because of weak pelvic floor muscles.

For this reason, considering pelvic floor, or Kegel, exercises may be helpful.

The best way to figure out how to isolate your Kegel muscles is to stop your urine mid-stream. If you take a moment and become familiar with which muscles you’re tightening to stop the stream, then you’ve just become acquainted with your Kegels.

Squeezing and releasing these muscles for 10 seconds at a time for a few minutes each day will help strengthen them. The Mayo Clinic recommends three sets of 10-15 repetitions each day. Most of the time results can be felt within 8-10 weeks with daily exercise, just like any other tried and true exercise program.

You can also consider using Kegel balls with exercises. Kegel balls act as something to squeeze against to pinpoint muscles and to help with resistance training.

@Dawna, scheduling an appointment with a Urogynecologist may also be beneficial.

Best,
Dr. Sunny

Hello Dr. Sunny When I orgasm ..I usually seem to urinate. I view myself as healthy 50 ish female…I have always had this result and I try to use washroom first. But takes away from spontaneity. Suggestions?? Thanks in advance Dawna

Hi @Mark,

Thank you for reaching out. I’ve written an article on PinkCherry’s U.S. sister site that may be helpful. It’s titled ‘Peak Performance! How You Can Control Your Climax’ – https://www.pinkcherry.com/blogs/ask-dr-sunny/how-to-control-your-climax

First, erections are tied to blood circulation, so it’s important to check with your doctor to make sure you’re in good health.

Next, you mentioned using pumps, but not cock rings. A cock ring helps restrict the blood flow from an erect penis and may help delay ejaculation.

@Mark, you can read more about the medical benefits of cock rings here – https://www.pinkcherry.com/blogs/ask-dr-sunny/medical-benefits-of-cock-rings

Best,
Dr. Sunny

Dear Dr Sunny, I was wondering if you have suggestions for me keeping an erection longer than 5mins. I’ve tried pumps but that doesn’t seem to work. I’m 32 years old and didn’t start having this issue until I reached 30. I thought it might have been diet. I stay active eat right. I wonder if it’s difficult for me to keep an erection due having a larger penis (9.25”) and maybe not enough blood going into my penis. Thank you for your time.

Hello @Robert M,

Thank you for writing. First, I’m so sorry that your wife is feeling out of sorts about her libido. It’s great to hear she’s trying counseling—I’m sure that will help. You sound like a very supportive husband and she is lucky to have you. Your family and that wonderfulness should be her focus, because it sounds like you’re all blessed to have each other.

I do have a few tips that may help with her libido. Please let her know that, just like almost everything else in life, sex drives do fluctuate over the course of a lifetime. Sometimes they can be affected by stress, depression, medication… A bodies chemistry is unique and varied. So it may be a good idea to check with her doctor to make sure there isn’t something, like medication, that could be a contributing factor. Also, hormone levels fluctuate as women ages and they can affect desire—something else to check with her OB/GYN about.

There’s a couple of articles that I wrote for PinkCherry’s U.S. sister site that may be helpful. The first one is ‘5 Ways to Supercharge Your Sex Drive’ – https://www.pinkcherry.com/blogs/ask-dr-sunny/5-ways-to-supercharge-your-sex-drive

The next one is ‘4 Easy Fixes for Mismatched Sex Drives’ – https://www.pinkcherry.com/blogs/ask-dr-sunny/solutions-for-mismatched-libidos

One last thing @Robert M, according to studies at McKendree University, adrenaline has been found to increase levels of emotional arousal and attraction between two individuals—in addition to boosting sexual stimuli. So, perhaps consider an active date that includes exciting elements, such as ziplining or white-water rafting, may also help.

Best,
Dr. Sunny

Dr Doctor Sunny. I am writing on behalf of my wife and I. We are blessed with two children that are now 12 and 10, however, for whatever reason, my wife has completly lost her sex drive. We are still very much in love and she is trying counselling, however, it is really got her beating herself up. She is 45,…any suggestions?