At some point in everyone’s relationship, bedroom boredom sets in. Sometimes it appears as the same comfortable sexual position used over, and over, and over again. Other times, you find yourself out of ideas on how to make sex better, or more fulfilling, or how to bring excitement back again.
You are not alone.
While some psychologists believe boredom is due to some type of discomfort in a relationship, I believe it’s actually the feeling of extreme comfort with a partner that can make sex dull. Most relationships just need to get out of their comfort zones and try something new.
#1 – Adrenaline Makes You Horny
Quite simply put, adrenaline turns into dopamine, and dopamine is known as the ‘happy hormone’. During orgasms, our brain releases a surge of dopamine, which in turn creates feelings of happiness and increases emotional connection with others.
So, the first way I recommend curing bedroom boredom is to get your adrenaline going because it can act as a great libido-booster for couples.
This can mean trying some new activity, such as rock climbing, white water rafting, or zip-lining. Or it can mean trying something new in the bedroom.
New things to try in Your Bedroom:
- Furry Hand Cuffs
- Under the Bed Restraints
- Satin Blindfold
- Bondage Tape
Exploring light bondage products can be a good way to amp up excitement and desire.
#2 - Men are Naturally Visually Stimulated
Studies have found that men have a preference for visual stimulation and want their sexual encounters to arouse their senses with lingerie or suggestive clothing.
Take a moment to answer these few questions –
1. What’s your partner’s favorite color?
2. What lingerie, clothes, or shoes do you wear that turns your partner on?
3. Do you know what body part of yours that your partner loves the most?
Now incorporate your answers into ways that can help visually arouse your partner.
1. Consider a new sex toy in his favorite color.
2. Wear the type of lingerie that arouses your partner. Or is wearing a skirt without panties just the right visual stimuli to convey your message?
3. Which of your body parts can you spotlight to turn your partner on? Perhaps a written message with edible paints?
Lighting is also a tried-and-true way to set a sexy mood. While dimming your lights or tossing a scarf over a lamp is good, candlelight is great. Everything looks so much sexier in candlelight, and scented candles can elevate a sensual mood even further.
Massage candles can also add a fresh new element to sex play.
#3 - Women Prefer Sexy Talk
Studies have found that while men are visually stimulated, women prefer reading erotica or listening to music to set a sexy mood.
Often something simple, like playing your lover’s favorite playlist, is enough to show you care—and may help to put your partner in a loving mood.
Music streaming service Deezer researched if music is important in our sex lives. And it turns out, it plays a pretty big role. 30% of their respondents agreed that music turns them on. 25% agreed sex is better with some tunes. And 15% shared that music makes them feel less awkward in the bedroom.
Take a moment to answer these few questions –
1. Do you know what type of music can set the mood for your partner?
2. Could you create a playlist of tunes that turn your partner on?
3. Is it possible to take your partner to a concert that features music that arouses them?
“Sound” is not just music – You can consider reading an erotic novel out loud or try a little dirty or suggestive talk to get her blood flowing.
“But Sunny, I’m not good at dirty talk.”
“But Sunny, suggestive talk makes me feel weird.”
Please, don’t over-think it. Saying something as simple as “that feels good” can make all the difference in the world!
You don't have go to full XXX with your dirty talk if you're not comfortable. Keep it suggestive and flirty if that's what feels right for you.
The whole point of dirty talk is to tell your partner how into them you are and how much you enjoy sexy time together. So, worry less about the actual content of what you're saying and more about what it communicates to them about how you're feeling.
And don’t worry about laughing! Laughter is an aphrodisiac, so rather than fear it, welcome it — if, at the very least, because it helps cut the tension and may make dirty talk less awkward.
#4 – Seduce Yourself
Sometimes the best way to jumpstart a relationship is to start in your own backyard—or in this case, your own body.
I recommend engaging all your senses in order to get your sensual juices flowing. Light candles and slowly, deeply inhale the scents. Turn on music that makes you feel frisky.
Next, get naked with yourself. Take a bath or shower and really take time to be aware of how the warm water feels against your bare skin. Or get completely naked and massage softly scented lotion all over your body. Go slow. Enjoy the feel of your hands on your skin.
Remember, the brain is a more powerful sexual organ than genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from so visualize your favorite fantasy. Envisioning an arousing romp, more than anything else, will help put you in a sexy mood.
This time can be considered foreplay with yourself and can help get you better in touch with those sexual feelings that may have been dormant.
Are you experiencing bedroom boredom? Would any of these recommendations work for you and your relationship? Please send me your questions and comments. I would love to hear from you.