Why are we so obsessed with the penis for male orgasm?
Research shows that there are seven different types of nerve endings leading to 20,000 to 70,000 nerve endings just on an average foreskin, so it makes sense that an incredible amount of orgasmic pleasure that can be derived from a man’s penis. It’s possible that so much emphasis is put on the act of intercourse that people seldom stray from this description of sexual pleasure.
According to sex education in our schools today, males are taught to orgasm via penis ejaculation.
However, I’m here to share with you--it’s possible for men to have prostate orgasms, nipple orgasms, and mental orgasms!
So, are you ready to expand your orgasmic horizons?
Allow me to give you some tips on some new orgasms that you may like to try. Be open and give yourself permission to try some new techniques that may lead you to fresh pleasure paths.
#1 How to have a Mental Orgasm
I have met people who can bring themselves to orgasms by just thinking about having an orgasm.
Consider it meditative sex.
Try laying down, clearing your mind, and thinking yourself into an orgasm.
Your brain is a powerful machine and according to studies on the power of suggestion and the subconscious mind, what you can visualize and imagine, your subconscious can consider is real. If you are mentally and/or meditatively having an incredible sexual experience, your body can respond to your steamy thoughts. This has also been referred to as “thinking off.”
I’m sure you can admit to getting an erection just by thinking about something sexy.
#2 How to Give Him a Nipple Orgasm
According to research by Barry Komisaruk of Rutgers University, nipple pleasure arouses the same part of the brain as genital stimulation. This was found to be true in both men and women in this study.
This research showed that it is possible for men to experience a nipple orgasm.
Have your partner begin by circling the pigmented portion around the nipple. This can be done with fingers, mouth or with a small vibrating pleasure product. This is the first step in arousal and draws extra blood to the nipple area.
Move to the nipples themselves next, stimulating one at a time with gentle rubbing and slight pinching. A man’s nipples will begin to harden instinctively. The harder the nipples become, the more sensitive they are to direct stimulation.
To keep the tension and pleasure mounting, twirl your fingers around both nipples simultaneously. At this point, you will begin to notice that his genitals have become very aware of this sensation and his breathing will become heavier.
The more sensitive and turned on he becomes, increase the pressure of circling, pinching, pulling, sucking on his nipples. Incorporating nipple suckers can help heighten sensations.
You’ll find that he is fully erect at this point and his nipples will be extremely sensitive. Much like the moment before a woman orgasms, don’t stop but don’t keep going full steam. Lighten your pressure ever so slightly to allow him to fully enjoy his nipple climax.
#3 How to have a Prostate Orgasm
First, let’s locate your prostate–Your prostate gland is located inside your rectum toward the front of your body. It swells with fluid during sexual arousal and this is often the best time to find its location.
Once located, you can use your finger to stimulate your prostate gland. You can also use prostate massage as part of foreplay with your partner.
“Come hither” motions and stimulation techniques–Often called “milking”, the best way to stimulate the prostate is to use “come hither” movements using your own or your partners’ finger.
How To: “Come hither” movements
Have you used a Trac Ball on a laptop mouse? Have you ever motioned for a bartender to “come here”? This is a movement you make with your primary pointing finger. By slowly pressing down and rubbing back, and then repeating this movement, you can do a one-finger massage on your or your partners prostate gland. This is a common finger motion that women also use for G-spot massage.
Using Prostate Massagers
These are helpful because they are appropriately designed to stimulate the prostate without guessing its location. Many are developed by physicians.
3 Things to remember for prostate massage are: Lots of Lube, the Best Position and Relaxation.
#1 – Lubricant
Choose a good lubricant and lots of it! The rectal canal isn’t self-lubricating so using lubrication is crucial whether using a prostate toy or fingers. Without it there is a high probability for damage to your sensitive anal area.
Silicone lubricants are often recommended for anal products because they have a slicker formula and last longer. However, because the rectal canal is a moisture permeable membrane capable of transmitting soluble chemicals into the bloodstream, you should also consider water-based lubricants that have less chemicals and are easier for clean-up with no residue. PinkCherry’s Water-based Anal Lubricant has a thick water-based formula designed to offer extra padding during anal activities. The decision on which lubricant to use is a personal preference but I advise taking time to learn about the different options that are available.
#2 - Position
The ideal position for most men is laying on their side in a slight fetal position. Your fingers or a prostate toy will match the curve of your body in this position, so it usually feels best.
Go very slowly. When you begin take a deep breath and blow out as you begin to ease your finger or toy into your rectum. Sunny Tip! Please be sure to have your fingernails neatly trimmed.
Another trick is to slightly push out your rectum as though you’re on the toilet. This will help open your anus. Never force or shove. Just breath into it and take your time.
Often it will feel like your finger or toy is being pulled inside once you have the tip halfway in. This is natural. The rectum does have a suction inside it. That’s why sex toys with flared bases are always recommended for anal play. You’ll often see flared bases on anal plugs that are intended for all-day wear. Many prostate toys will also have bases that allow for a firm grip on the toy during massaging.
#3 – Relax
Remember to breathe. Relax and allow your body to become accustomed to having your finger or toy inside you.
#4 – Prostate Massage
If you feel toward the front of your body with your finger inside your prostate, you should be able to locate your walnut-shaped gland, which is soft and spongy. If using a prostate toy, the massager is created to press against your prostate.
With your finger inserted, you can use the “come hither” motions we reviewed above or squeeze your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle. Men and women have PC muscles supporting pelvic organs – the urethra, bladder, and bowel. These are the muscles that you tighten that make your penis “bounce.” With your finger on your prostate gland, squeezing and releasing your PC muscles will naturally massage your prostate.
If using a prostate toy, you can gently rock it forward and back to stimulate your prostate manually. Or, the prostate massager will automatically stimulate your prostate as you squeeze and release your PC muscles.
Trust me, it’ll probably be uncomfortable for the first few times. This is normal as well. It may take a few tries but what you’re looking for as an end result is a prostate orgasm.
Please be aware–the first 2-3 times you try prostate massage, it is perfectly normal for nothing to happen.
What happens with an Anal/Prostate Orgasm?
When you experience ejaculation from prostate massage, you’ll notice that the sperm isn’t the same as your usual ejaculation. It can be thicker and exhibit a cloudier color. You’ll also notice that instead of shooting out quickly*, stagnant semen from the prostate has a tendency to ooze or drip slowly from the tip of a penis. This too is completely normal.
*The average speed of sperm ejaculation is 28 mph.
Are you ready to try one of these orgasm techniques that don’t involve your penis?
I’d love to hear from you about what works and what doesn’t. If you have a technique that you’d like to share, please reach out to me. Remember, I am always here to help you.