What exactly is oral sex?
The most common definition of oral sex involves using your mouth or tongue to stimulate your partner’s genitalia or anal region. This oral stimulation may include licking, nibbling, sucking, kissing, or more.
Just like everything else, you can get better at providing oral sex with practice and by increasing your knowledge—and becoming better in sync with your sexual partner. The more you discuss preferences and get to know what you and your partner enjoy, the better your oral sex experiences may become.
And in case you’re wondering, medical definitions do consider oral sex “real” sex.
Oral Sex: The Basics
Everyone is unique and people like to give or receive oral sex in different ways. Communication and experimentation are the best ways to find out what gives both you and your partner the most pleasure.
Male Oral Sex
This is also known as fellatio, going down, or giving a blow job. The penis is highly sensitive so it’s best to start gently. The penis does not have to be erect to begin oral sex. You may want to use your hand, as well as your mouth, to arouse him. Your hand can be helpful directing the penis in and out of your mouth.
Using your tongue, mouth, hand and head movements can determine what feels best for you and your partner. Take time to ask what feels best.
It’s personal preference on if you should stop, or not, when ejaculation occurs.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends using a condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Female Oral Sex
This form of pleasure is also called cunnilingus. While the entire genital area is sensitive, your partner may enjoy licking, nibbling, and kissing around the inner thighs to start.
Learn where the clitoris is located or try gently parting the outer lips of the vagina, the clitoris will be located above the opening. Ask her to show and tell you what areas feel best when orally pleasured.
Lick, nibble, or kiss slowly to start. Make slow movements with your tongue. Experiment with moving your tongue in different ways.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends using a dental dam or tongue condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Anal Oral Sex
Performing oral sex on your lover’s anus is also known as rimming or analingus and can be a part of any sexual relationship.
Hygiene can be a concern for many when considering anal play. If this is a concern for you or your partner, taking a bath or shower, or using intimate cleansing wipes, can help with comfortability.
Before going straight to the heart, or anus, try kissing and licking around the genitals, inner thighs, and buttocks region.
Using your tongue to lick and probe and your lips to kiss and suck can be incredibly stimulating. Remember that communication is important in learning what feels the best.
Oral Sex: Mastermind Tips & Techniques
Science states that we as people went to engage, take action, and become better versions of ourselves. This may be why we’re always seeking new ways to learn and do things better. Whatever your reason is for wanting to learn oral sex mastermind techniques, here are some tips and information to, hopefully, help you become better versed with your options for oral lovemaking.
Tips for Gag Reflexes
There is a medically advocated way to reduce or eliminate a gag reflex. This is by getting your soft palate accustomed to being touched. In order to do this, a soft toothbrush is touched on your tongue until the area is reached that makes a gagging feeling start. That means the toothbrush has gone too far. But this is also the area that needs some “conditioning”.
Each day softly brush this area of the tongue for about 15 seconds. This can be repeated until the tongue is desensitized. Medical research shows that it normally takes about one month for this process to have a noticeable effect.
Another option to try is a trick used by dentist offices. Research by the American Dental Association has shown that a gag reflex can be relaxed by distracting your brain. This study had people with gag reflexes form a fist with their left hands and squeeze their left thumb inside this fist. Interestingly, their research found this move seems to disable the gag reflex.
For an almost instant effect, consider trying a throat numbing spray.
But keep in mind, while being able to deep throat a penis may be a goal, there are other ways to stimulate the sensitive penis, such as pinpointing pleasure for the frenulum, which is the most sensitive spot on most penises.
Include Multiple Points of Stimulation
Do not just focus on the penis or clitoris. Take time to enjoy additional sensitive erogenous areas, such as the testicles, urethra, anus, vagina, and perineum.
One little known erogenous area is the gluteal fold, which is the crease where the butt meets the top of the thighs. It’s thought to be a passion point and is worthy of oral play.
Foods can affect Taste and Smell
If you’re concerned about the taste and aroma of your intimate areas or semen, there are foods that affect scent and flavor of bodily fluids.
For men, the following foods have been found to make semen taste better:
For women, citrus seems to be key:
For men and women, if possible, avoid cigarettes, caffeine, red meat, asparagus, cabbage, onions, and garlic—all of which can make intimate areas and fluids taste and smell worse.
Avoid perfumes or deodorants in the genital areas if they aren’t products made for those areas, because they may possibly disrupt pH levels or irritate tender skin.
Add Your Own Flavors
Adding flavored lubricants or oral sex potions can allow you and your partner to enjoy favorite tastes and scents, and can allow for an added level of comfortability. Just be sure and use sugar-free options for her and products that are specifically made for intimate play.
- Long, silky laps with your tongue
- Flick sensitive areas (clitoris or frenulum) with the tip of your tongue
- Use the tip of your tongue to draw, spell letters, make art—use your imagination!
- Wear a vibrating tongue massager to up your stimulation game
In addition to wearable tongue vibrators, penetrative or finger-worn toys can add exciting stimulation to oral play. There are also pleasure products that can provide suction and flickering tongue sensations. This is where communicating preferences and pleasure options with your partner can intensify oral activities.
While there is not a secret spot inside the mouth or throat that will lead to orgasm, there can be intense pleasures in giving and receiving oral sex—so much so that it can lead to experiencing an orgasm. Some people even prefer the pleasures of oral sex over penetrative sex.
I encourage you to keep learning and practicing, which will bring a greater sense of comfort and comfortability—and hopefully more satisfying oral sex experiences.
Are you eager to try new oral sex play techniques? Is there a particular tongue trick that works for you? Please send me your questions and comments. I would love to hear from you.