What We All Need for a Happy, Healthy Sex Life

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Of course, sexual activity isn’t necessary for relationships—but it can make intimate relationships so much more fulfilling. However, our busy lives, obligations, and everyday stressors can sometimes make sex fall into the “unimportant” category. And that isn’t healthy. 

 

There are things we can all try in order to enjoy happy, healthy sex lives. But first, let’s look at WHY sex can be healthy for relationships. 

 

Sex is Healthy for Your Relationship

A good sex life is beneficial for your heart, head, and overall life. Research shows that the happiest, most stable relationships are where couples enjoy sex once a week. Most researchers believe that the quality of sexual connection is more important than the frequency of sex. The research showed that more than once a week didn’t impact happiness—but the additional activity may be heart healthy. 

 

According to Harvard Health, approximately 90% of people in relationships agree that having a good relationship with their significant other is important to the quality of life. Unfortunately, they also found that over half of men and two-thirds of women want more sex than they’re currently having in their relationships. 

 

While age and health can play a significant role in having sex regularly, most often it’s loss of desire, anxiety, stress, or a busy schedule that gets in the way of sexual activities. It’s possible to enjoy sex well into your 80s, so it’s important to make time for it. 

 

Research shows that men appreciate the physical aspects of sex, while women are happy with the emotional connection that sex provides. So, by enjoying some type of sexual activity once a week, your relationship may be healthier for it. 



Sex is Healthy for Your Body

Studies show that sex can improve heart health, boost immunity, lower blood pressure, provide immediate natural pain relief, and even allow for better sleep. 

 

Sex has been shown to activate a variety of neurotransmitters that not only impacts our brains but several other organs in our bodies, providing health benefits in multiple places. Sex can also boost libidos and may help partners be better aligned in wanting sex more often – or at least once a week!

 

Sex is a great form of exercise and can also be a workout for pelvic floor muscles because of the contractions that take place. This may help improve bladder control. 

 

Looking at calories burned during sexual activities, it’s possible that sex can be a healthy workout. An hour of sex play can burn approximately 103 calories, while 15 minutes of kissing can burn over 56 calories. 

 

Sex is Healthy for Your Mind

Studies report that sex decreases depression and anxiety, and provides overall stress reduction. 

 

Researchers also found that people who engage in weekly sexual activities score higher on cognitive tests and that sex improves brain health and helps aging brains to work better in some ways. Additional research found sex helps improve a person’s memory as they age. 

 

Because sex creates a chemical-cocktail release in the brain, it can make you feel calm, happy, and content. Oxytocin, which is often accompanied by melatonin, can make a mind feel incredibly relaxed. 

So, What Do We All Need for a Happy, Healthy Sex Life?

According to an extensive study, there are a few fundamental things that can help us achieve a happy, healthy sex life. Use these as a guide of suggestions for your own relationship.

 

1. Communication, Trust, and Emotional Security

Good sexual communication has been associated with greater sexual satisfaction in relationships. Researchers have even argued that having conversations about sexuality is elemental to the development and maintenance of satisfying sexual relationships. 

 

This means getting comfortable telling your partner what you need sexually and being able to initiate sex. If this is new to you, it will take practice. 

 

As with every new skill, take your time and start slowly. Encourage open, trustworthy communication with your partner. Let your partner know they are sexually safe with you. 

 

2. Know What You Like Sexually

Knowing what turns you on sexually, and being able to explain it to your partner, can make for happier sexual experiences. 

 

Spend time exploring your body and pleasure options, such as vibrators and stimulators, to find out what works best for you. The better you know yourself sexually, the better you can share with your partner what feels good. 

 

3. Focus on Your Partner and the Moment

In our busy world, it’s easy to get distracted. Many people find focusing on their partner during sex is difficult. 

 

In order to have a better sexual and emotional connection, try to stay in the moment during sexual activities and give your partner your full attention. 

 

One study found participants reported significant improvements in sexual desire, overall sexual function, and a reduction in sex-related distress after completing a mindfulness program. 

 

4. Practice Sexual Self-Confidence

Confidence is sexy.  If you don’t feel sexually confident, you may have difficulty enjoying sexual activities. 

 

Learn to appreciate and be confident in your body and the pleasure that it can provide to you and your partner. Remember that no one is perfect. Practice being happy in your own skin and be confident in knowing what you enjoy sexually.  

 

5. Use Products to Make Sex Feel Better

Pleasure products can make foreplay and sex more fun. Lubricant can help make sexual activities more comfortable. 

 

Using sex toys can bring a sense of newness and exploration to relationships—which can translate to fresh happiness. Be willing to explore new types of stimulation, such as air pulse and suction, to know what pleasure options work best for you. 



Be Sexually Happy & Healthy

Clinical research has stated that sexual activity and sexual intimacy are an essential part of human life. Use these tips and strategies to create a happier, healthier, more fulfilling sex life for yourself. 

 

Are you ready to make your sex life better? Have you ever tried any of the tips shared in this article? What’s made your sexual activities more fun? Please send me your questions and comments. I would love to hear from you.


Dr. Sunny does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.