Despite some of the silly origins of chastity devices and fictitious creation myths, they’re very much an active BDSM tool (like the anal dilator) in today’s kink culture. It can be really hot to lock away a sub’s penis, forcing them to come crawling back to their dom for sexual gratification. On that note, welcome to your own personal chastity guide to cock cages!
As far as sex toy options go, chastity cages are pretty unique. The intent behind a cage might be that it is worn 100% of the time, but chastity cages aren't the only adult sex toys in a kink-minded arsenal that can be used for the purpose of enforcing sexual control in a dom/sub (aka D/S) relationship. That said, they’re a powerful option, and it’s often a sign of deep respect and trust for a sub to allow someone else to be their “keyholder” (the one who holds the key to their chastity device).
In the words of one man, “It's important for me that bondage remains really serious and very functional and utilitarian. Chastity fulfills those requirements for me. It's extremely difficult to develop that level of trust with someone where I would allow them to be my keyholder … If I'm going to give someone my key, I want them to completely control the situation and not give me the option of getting out. Subs often have to earn dignified totems or positions from their doms, like a collar or patch, but with chastity, the dom has to earn the responsibility of holding my key.”
Now, sometimes social situations don't allow for wearing metal chastity cages all the time. Making frequent visits to the gym or biking to work while wearing a penis cage could be very uncomfortable, cock-wise. In these situations, a hybrid model might be applicable, such as a promise or commitment to refrain from masturbating or having sex with others, even though the cage isn’t being worn right then.
Another option could be a special pair of underwear that is designated as a chastity device. Chastity underwear if you will. When worn, they’re a reminder of the chastity commitment taken.
What is a chastity cage?
A chastity cage is a device that goes around the flaccid penis, locking it into place in a way that makes it very difficult to remove. The locking mechanism usually has a key, and giving this key to someone else designates them as the keyholder. The device itself can either be elaborate and decorated, rustic and spartan or somewhere in between. These days they frequently consist of a series of concentric circles that adjust to the wearer's penis size, often via a locking pin.
If being worn for any longer length of time, a chastity cage should have an opening to for comfortable urination, and it should have enough room to let the penis can partially engorge from an erection without causing pain.
How to choose a chastity cage?
You’ll want to pay close attention to size when it comes to choosing and using the right cage. Measure three things: the width and length of your/their shaft, and the girth of both the shaft and balls (take these measurements from behind the sack and around).
Done properly, being aroused inside the cock cage shouldn’t be painful, just uncomfortable. Cages can come in many different materials: metal chastity devices and metal cages give a certain heft and sturdiness, plastic cages are more lightweight but not quite as robust, and silicone chastity devices are softer and have more give. If you’re just starting out, you’ll probably want to go with silicone or plastic cages.
One of the most common types of male chastity devices is ball trap cages, which are essentially base rings (also called main rings), which you put the wearer's testicles and penis through, plus a penis cage that locks into the base ring, confining the wearer's cock.
Getting the measurements correct on these devices is very, very important, and it’s especially critical for the inside diameter of the base ring to be the right size because it has the potential to cut off blood flow and the ability to urinate. While the usefulness of the wearer’s genitals may be called into question for the purposes of BDSM play, the ability for the penis to be fully functioning is not up for negotiation, and long-term harm should never be the goal of wearing a male chastity cage — or any chastity cage.
If you’re new to chastity play, it’s best to start larger when it comes to cage rings – you’ll have more room to experiment with, and there will be less risk of discomfort. Also, not all things are constant in the size department for penises; the way they sit and hang is dependent on things like temperature and humidity. Having extra rings on hand to allow for a most excellent fit and finish can both be more comfortable, and one more way to enjoy fussing over the cage itself.
Some chastity cage starter kits come with multiple rings in different sizes, along with attaching guide pins to allow for the base ring to be swapped to the size of the wearer’s equipment. When changing sizes, try the cage on and set a timer for 10-15 minutes. Once the timer is up, check in about the level of comfort or discomfort the cage applies. If the testicles and penis are discolored at all from when the base cock ring was applied, this means it’s a good idea to size up a little bit. Then repeat this process until the cage is the correct size. Much like Goldilocks, you want this baby to be juuuust right.
Things to know when trying chastity for the first time
Giving up access and control of the penis can have a drastic effect on the psyche. It can be erotic, exciting, unfamiliar, and potentially unnerving. According to BDSM dominatrix Cara Sutra, “Many men feel like the very core of their masculinity comes from their genitalia, having a penis and balls and being able to use them to perform in a sexual manner … Having this ability restricted or taken away makes them question their masculinity. This is a really potent blend of taboo, fear, and worry and that’s when the playful element of this part of BDSM really kicks in.”
Or in the words of another dominatrix, Ava Zhang, “Although discomfort is minor, the emotional impact is extreme. He may have a change of heart and convince himself that his consensual lock-down was a mistake, crawling back to his Mistress and BEG (I love it when they beg) to be freed.”
Be prepared to experience intense emotions while wearing a chastity cage. Some men report being so turned on by the whole thing that they have to wait a while to get flaccid in order to even just put the thing on.
Now let’s talk about actually putting it on: First, yes, you’re going to have to be soft. There’s some debate about whether or not to use lube when getting your cock in the cage. Kink expert Mistress K does recommend it, saying, “There’s a whole host of thoughts and feelings about chastity devices and lube. Should you use lube? Would oil be better? Water-based lube or silicone lube? It’s entirely up to you, and what you feel most comfortable with, however, we’ve found that water-based lubes tend to work best for putting on.”
Another thing to know is that long term chastity cage use can cause the genitals to be sore, especially if the cage is heavy. Sometimes heaviness is the point, with the weight being a physical reminder of the committee agreed to, but that weight can also create discomfort. This can mean that when it comes time for actual sex things to occur that involve the caged cock, the wearer might be engaging in sexy time with a sore penis. Doable, but less fun.
It might take a bit of trial and error to get a chastity cage that is right for the wearer’s particular penis profile. The best chastity cage is one that locks properly and wears comfortably for long periods of time, and that is highly dependent on the size and shape of the user’s flaccid penis.
How to use a chastity cage?
Use of a chastity cage in a dominant and submissive dynamic can be both sexually exciting as well as deeply bonding for both parties. Commitment to a chastity lifestyle and having control over somebody else's sexuality is a real power boost. Chastity cages are one component of asserting control over somebody else's sexuality and can be deeply satisfying for the wearer.
For example, one 37-year-old married man accidentally discovered chastity play while browsing porn, and realized the idea of taking a more submissive role in sex was a huge turn-on for him. He wanted to explore it with his wife but it took him weeks to muster the courage to actually bring it up with her. When he finally did, he said “‘I did a horrible job trying to explain myself, I was so nervous, and nothing I was saying was coming out right … She told me to let her think about it.’”
Think about it she did, and after reading a book on the subject, the couple did start engaging in chastity play, which brought them significantly closer. In his words, “‘Our relationship is better and stronger than ever, and I don’t think we’ve ever been happier or more in love with each other. Chastity has given me a greater appreciation for what women go through and deal with in a male-dominated world.’”
The act of giving someone the key to your penis is both an act of devotion and an act of submission. Using a chastity cage can ramp up those feelings. It can also create opportunities to enjoy sex and sexuality without having penis-in-orifice-centered sex, allowing for more types of sex to be enjoyed between partners and potentially opening up the wearer to perspectives they hadn’t considered prior to having penis-centered sex be their norm.
Deprived of the ability to touch his cock, one man said he’s had to focus on other areas: “‘My nipples and ass have become more sensitive, as I couldn’t stimulate my penis, so other zones felt the desire for gratification … I’m able to better understand the female desire for ‘touch before sex.’’”
Other types of chastity devices
Using a male chastity belt or cock cage isn’t the only way to get the commitment of locking away one’s sexuality. Sometimes this can be as simple as an agreement between two people. While uttering, “I will not masturbate or have sex with anyone else; you’re the only person that’s going to give me an orgasm” doesn’t have the same oomph as a whole locking mechanism and weighty steel hanging on the gonads, it can be the more practical option depending on the partnership’s situation.
If, for example, the goal is for the penis owner to be in a mode of chastity all the time, that might not be the most convenient fit for the penis owner’s lifestyle. What if they go to the gym frequently, or if they have to wear tight-fitting clothing for work? Wearing a cock cage in these situations might bring more complications to the wearer’s life than it’s worth. It might look like they’re packing or maybe just stuffed a bunch of socks into their clothing. Having to explain that to the general public might not be the goal of the chastity commitment.
As an addition to a chastity cage, participants can up the ante with an into-penis insertion in the form of a catheter pee tube. Some chastity cages come with integrator catheter devices for even more kinky fun submissive times.
There's also the more extreme chastity piercing, with a lock that goes directly through the piercing. This has the benefit of not having to wear such a large and cumbersome device, but it does allow for fuller erection to occur than with a locking cage.
By the way, stay tuned if you’ve ever wondered; what are chastity belts?
Important tidbits about wearing chastity devices
Even while wearing a male chastity device, erections are an important part of penile health, and preventing the penis from getting erect can cause harm in the long term. The erectile tissue doesn’t get blood flow in the same way that the rest of the body does, so the penises revitalization and repair process happens during erection. Getting nocturnal erections is a normal part of penis ownership, so nighttime cock cage wear isn’t recommended.
In other words, you want to pace yourself and allow for some cage-free time in addition to hot sexy caged time. And look, whatever you do, leave any self-judgment aside. Whatever you’re into, whether it’s a sex swing, chastity cage, or just doin’ it under a full moon, your sexuality is yours to own. Get your freak on!