Of all the glorious options in terms of types of orgasms, a hands-free orgasm can be one of the most thrilling — and fun.
Yes, we’re referring to both hands-free masturbation as well as hands-free orgasms with a partner. Whether you’re looking to diversify your sex life, wanting to explore some elements of tantric sex, strengthen your pelvic floor, or simply enhance your own erotic energy, there’s something here for everyone.
First, what exactly is a hands-free orgasm?
Never heard of this type of orgasm? You’re not alone. Many of us, when playing solo, reach orgasm by using our hands, or sex toys like vibrators or wands that we wield with our hands.
And while that’s physically stimulating, there can be something even more erotically stimulating when you achieve a hands-free orgasm. Freeing up those hands lets you wave ‘em around like you just don’t care — or clutch the bedsheets in unbelievable pleasure as you pant with orgasmic pleasure.
In essence, a hands-free orgasm is exactly what it sounds like: it’s any orgasm that you have without using your hands at all.
You can have a hands-free orgasm through hands-free masturbation, or with someone else (or several someones!). Both male-identifying, penis-owning people as well as female-identifying, vulva owners can have hands-free orgasms … and are encouraged to. ;)
So how do you orgasm without using your hands?
It’s likely you’ve already achieved a hands-free orgasm in your sex life, you just didn’t label it as such.
If you’ve got a penis, perhaps you glimpsed your crush in grade nine and the friction in your jeans had you climax right there in the school hallway. Or if you’ve got a vulva, maybe you were dry humping with a partner (or a pillow) and surprised yourself with a free orgasm! Sometimes rubbing against someone’s leg in just the right way can get you there, or even just a couch cushion. (It helps to be creative with whatever’s around — then you have even more pleasant recollections with respect to your furniture.)
Prepping for a hands-free orgasm
The most important way to prep for a hands-free orgasm? Relax and get turned on! Hands-free orgasms aren’t different from other orgasms in that they require you to be aroused. The main thing to remember is that your pleasure is the most important thing here — not the outcome. And the flow of your own erotic energy is unique and evolving — it’s always changing. (It’s also worth remembering, for those with vulvas, that your sexual energy will shift and change over the course of your monthly cycle, so what worked for you last week may be different this week, and that’s perfectly normal.)
Whatever your go-to methods of turn-on are, whether visual stimulation like porn, audio stimulation like sexy stories read to you aloud (by strangers or by your partner — take your pick), physical stimulation like nipple touching/pinching, or the right kind of sexy music, make it happen.
Once you’re nice and relaxed, here are some techniques for loving on yourself and achieving hands-free orgasms:
1. Get freaky in the shower (or bathtub)
Water can be a sexy stimulant, especially when it’s hittin’ all the right spots. If you’ve got a vulva and a comfortable way to position your legs so that your clitoris is just under a nice spray of water, you’re likely to enjoy yourself quite a bit.
A hands-free orgasm in the bath? Yes, please. (Just avoid spraying water directly into your vagina, as this can interfere with your nice, healthy pH balance.)
2. Use a sex toy with suction cups
There are allllll kinds of super hot options here, including sex toys for just you (#solotime) or for you and your sweetie(s).
Try a sex toy with suction cups that you can “mount” on a flat, hard surface (such as a mirror, or the side of your shower). This allows you to go hands-free, and go to town. Options abound for both vulva owners (dildos and the like) as well as anal options for prostate pleasure for those with penises.
Ever been curious about double penetration? With a mountable sex toy and a partner, you can play with DP in a safe and comfortable way, since you’re able to control exactly how far in the toy goes. Your partner can also also give you oral sex while you’re being penetrated, which can be incredibly erotic.
3. Go remote
Spice things up to habanero-level on date night with a remote-controlled vibrator. You wear it in your panties, and your partner can turn you on — literally — anytime they want — from across the bar, even. For extra fire, wear one to that work event you’ve been dreading … your partner will love watching you try to hold a conversation with your boss while they’re cranking up the vibes.
Speaking of good vibrations, you can also drive a male partner crazy with vibrating cock rings. They fit over the base of a penis, and some even have a portion that stimulates the perineum, enhancing that pleasure all the more.
4. Play with a sex toy with suction
If you’ve got a vulva and you’ve never tried a sex toy with suction action, you’re in for a (screaming orgasm) treat. Women who love oral sex swear by toys that mimic it with suction. Never thought those sweet, sweet sensations were possible without a partner? Oh, they’ll get the blood flowing all right.
Speaking of which, remember that during arousal blood flow to the whole genital region increases, which causes everything to get nice and sensitized — ready to be touched and stimulated. It also means that the kind of pressure and stimulation that feels good at the beginning of an encounter can shift over the course of it. In other words, you might want very, very light touch at the beginning, and then crave more pressure as things progress. This is why, if you’ve ever used a sex toy like a vibrator that has different settings, you’ll often find yourself cranking it up the more excited you get.
And what happens during an orgasm is that your muscles twitch, or spasm. Many women and/or those with vulvas experience a rhythmic muscular contraction inside the vagina during an orgasm (this can be particularly pleasurable for their partner to experience from the inside, especially if she’s been doing her kegel exercises).
If you’ve got a vulva, it can be extra fun to “breathe” your orgasm into yourself as you feel those muscles contracting, which brings us right along to the next fun tip for hands-free orgasms:
5. Orgasmic breathing
Want to experiment with tantric sex? Orgasmic breathing is part of it, and can be done on your own or with a partner. With practice, it can bring you to a hands-free orgasm — whether you’re a man or a woman. (Sometimes a hands-free orgasm of this kind is known as an “energetic orgasm.”)
How do you do it? Whether it’s hands-free masturbation or partner play, orgasmic breathing involves deep, intentional rhythmic breath from your diaphragm, similar to breathing done in some forms of yoga and meditation. Certified sexologist and tantric sex expert Barbara Carrellas has a guided audio meditation on it, and there’s lots of info on orgasmic breathing in her book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century.
Bonus: Have a hands-free orgasm while you sleep
Yep, it’s possible to rub one out even while in dreamland! While having a hands-free orgasm while asleep might seem unbelievable, according to sexpert Gigi Engle, “There’s reason to believe that if you have sex on the brain when you go to bed, or haven’t climaxed in your waking hours, they’re more likely to happen.”
In other words, set yourself up for an orgasm without using your hands by getting all hot and bothered right before you drift off. A great way to do this is to practice edging (getting close but not allowing yourself to achieve full orgasm). You can also engage in dirty talk with your partner if you’ve got one, or listen to audio erotica.
There’s no guarantee this will work, but you’re setting yourself up for success (and possibly a hands-free orgasm of epic proportions). Plus, erotic energy is inherently energizing — research shows that it helps you to feel more alive, happy, and vital.
There’s something freeing about going hands-free. Here’s to sexual freedom of all kinds, for all!
