Ahh! Monogamous relationships – society’s misconstrued golden standard for partnerships/marriages.
Okay, so that sounds really negative.
What we mean to say is that monogamy isn’t the only way to be with someone (or many someones).
But … truth be told there are many positive aspects to a monogamous relationship that make them perfect for a vast majority of couples.
If the involved parties are respectful to the nature of a monogamous relationship, it can actually work well! Stick around as we cover the ins and outs of monogamy including some juicy tips.
What is a Sexually Monogamous Relationship?
Monogamy, monogamous, monogamist? What do these words mean?
Honestly, you might not have heard these words before, and that’s totally okay. We’re here to clear it all up for you.
According to most dictionaries, monogamy means a marriage to only one person at a time. To bring this up to today’s standards and to take this brief explanation a little further, a monogamous relationship is one in which you are only “with” one person at a time.
This can mean dating, engagement, marriage, or any other kind of commitment to one another.
Now, to add in the “sexually” part of the sexually monogamous relationship. This means that you are only sexually active with one partner at a time. Whether you’re married or just dating, you are only making love to that one person.
Do Monogamous Relationships Work?
Do monogamous relationships work, you ask?
Well, it depends on what you mean by “work”.
While the people in such relationships hope for monogamy, many report experiencing infidelity.
Cheating is a common concern of those in sexually monogamous relationships. We can’t give you any actual statistics on any of this info because sex culture is always changing (the numbers are literally all over the place).
While we can’t give you numbers, we can say that cheating is sadly not an uncommon occurrence.
None of this means that you can’t find a monogamous relationship that is steadfast and true!
We know it sounds corny, but you’ve just got to find that one special person with the same belief and dedication as you. I know, easier said than done.
But if Emperor Penguins can travel 50 miles or more across arctic deserts to get food and still come back to their partner, perhaps humans are capable.
What Are The Pros and Cons of Monogamy?
Being sexually monogamous has some setbacks, but they don’t inherently outweigh the benefits.
5 Pros of a Monogamous Relationship
- Less societal restraints – it’s considered the norm
- Lower risks of contracting STI’s – your partner shouldn’t be contracting anything if they are faithful (but use condoms until you’re absolutely sure!)
- Decreased jealousy between partners – you aren’t splitting the aspects of your sex life among several people
- Improved sex from continued experiences – you can learn what each other likes and dislikes for earth-shattering orgasms
- Possible financial support – this goes back to societal norms (but isn’t necessarily true for everyone), but monogamous partnerships often encompass shared financial aspects
4 Cons of a Monogamous Relationship
- Boredom can lead to infidelity – feeling as though you have less choices can tempt you to seek out new ones
- People grow and change over time – your partner may change their mind on religion, politics, or other personal beliefs
- You could be held back from your own growth – you may not follow what you feel if you know if would upset your partner
- Insecurities about emotional commitment – staying in a committed sexual relationship can make you question if your partner feels the need to stay with you to do what is “right” rather than for love
Signs a Monogamous Relationships is Best for You
Not everyone in the world is built for a monogamous relationship. In fact, there are characteristics that might make you more suited for the committed relationship life than other relationship forms.
- You might not like a lot of change in your life. Having the same partner over the course of many years will bring you the stability you crave.
- Monogamous relationships are probably more your thing is if you get jealous easily. The thought of sharing your partner with other people can completely mark polyamory off your list.
- You have a busy schedule. This one might sound counterintuitive but hear us out. If you find that you have barely enough time to get intimate with one partner, imagine trying to line up schedules with multiple people.
- You simply want a monogamous lifestyle. It’s perfectly natural to choose a monogamous relationship for whatever reasons. You should never force yourself to be in any kind of relationship that doesn’t suit your needs and desires.
How to Stay in a Monogamous Relationship
While there are many tips that apply to any kind of relationship there are a few that can be tailored specifically to monogamous relationships.
For starters, you need to communicate with each other about your expectations in the relationship upfront. If your partner doesn’t know your aim is to be monogamous, then you can’t expect them to be held accountable.
Also, make sure that you have individual space. To combat the problem of your growth being stifled, find what makes you uniquely you, not what makes you the identity of “you and your partner”.
Finally, if things seem to be getting boring, you can talk to your partner about spicing it up. Go sex toy shopping together to bring some new items into the bedroom rather than new partners. Actually, PinkCherry has a whole line of sex toys for couples that might be the perfect addition to keeping things steamy.