You know that feeling when you’ve started touching yourself and your hand creeps down your body, inching ever closer to where you know it will really feel good? The anticipation of those sweet sensations can literally take your breath away.
Most people know that, for most clitoris owners, this little bundle of nerves and pleasure-receptors is the key to orgasm. Plenty of women/AFAB people and their partners spend, or have spent lots of time experimenting to find what feels best for them (and we definitely recommend that!), but if you want a few ideas about how to rub your clitoris to feel your best or use a clit vibrator, this guide is for you.
Today we’re providing some great clit rubbing techniques, some you may be familiar with, some may be brand new. In either case, with these pleasure-seeking tips in mind, you’ll be cresting the waves of climax in no time. So, read on to learn how to massage clit.
1. UNDERSTAND WHERE THE CLITORIS IS
So ‘where is my clit’ is an important and common question. If you want to know how to play with your clit, you need to know where it’s located. The clitoris is usually easier to find when you’re already sexually aroused, but even if you don’t have a mirror, you can usually tell where it is by gently feeling around.
The external portion of the clitoris is located above the vaginal opening and can feel like a tiny button.
You’ve got a lot of nerve endings in your entire vulva, although many of them are concentrated in the clitoris. That’s why it feels so darn good when you get handsy with yourself.
2. DON’T FORGET THE LUBE
It’s a common misconception that, since the vagina is self-lubricating, you can get by without any extra moisture, but that’s not always the case. For any number of reasons, you or your partner may need to supplement with a good quality lubricant along with the clitoral massage.
Any good water-based lubricant will do the trick when you’re playing with your (or someone else’s) clitoris, but if you’re having some splashy fun in the tub or shower, or you don’t want to worry about re-applying, a silicone lubricant can work great, too. There are even hybrid lubes available, which give you the best of both worlds by combining water-based and silicone lubricants.
Just keep in mind that you shouldn't use a silicone-based lube with a silicone sex toy.
3. EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT STROKES AND MOVEMENTS
Instead of spending time Googling “how to massage clit,” you should be doing some fieldwork! Get in there and see what you like. All the informative articles in the world can’t replace lots of sexy experimentation on vaginal massage and clit stimulation.
Using a finger, try short, light strokes over just the clitoris and clitoral hood or long, slow strokes that incorporate the vaginal opening. too. Move your finger in a circular motion, side to side, or up and down. You can also try gentle taps. Use more or less pressure, and more or less speed, to find what feels best for you.
Try to mix it up a little until you find a movement that promises an orgasm, or just feels really good. Repetitive movements can cramp up your hand, and no one wants that. Play a little and then take a break for a few seconds before diving back in.
If stroking isn’t getting you there, you can try gently pinching the clitoral nub between two fingers.
4. TRY A LITTLE PRESSURE
Both your clitoris and your clitoral hood have tons of nerve endings. approximately 8,000 in fact. Just about any kind of gentle touch will feel good, but if you want to step it up you can try pressing down. This doesn’t have to be solely on the clitoris either. Some clitoris-owning people love the feeling of pressure over their entire vulva, hence why grinding is so popular.
You don’t even have to get undressed to enjoy a little or a lot of grinding pleasure. In fact, some women can get all the pressure they need simply by pulling up the waistband of their jeans! You can try rocking forward in your chair, or placing a cushion or pillow between your legs, too.
Another way that pressure can work in your favor involves multiple orgasms. Right after orgasm, your clitoris can be super sensitive, too sensitive for more direct stimulation. However, keeping some pressure over the vulva as a whole could help keep you aroused until things calm down and clitoral stimulation can resume.
This kind of pressure can be hard to keep up on yourself since your muscles often naturally unclench and relax immediately after orgasm, but try grinding down on a firm pillow or armrest. You might just find yourself squirming impatiently again, ready to reach that second, third, or fourth climax.
5. DON’T FOCUS TOO HARD ON CLIMAX
Focusing on the clitoris is the whole point of the exercise, right? You know that it’s the key to orgasm, and you’re ready to get to the bottom of this mystery! But it is equally important to remember that having an orgasm doesn’t have to be the be-all-end-all of your sexual experience.
It can be irritating if, during your first few explorations, you have trouble reaching orgasm or can’t find something that feels good. Don’t give up! If you’re too focused on massaging your clitoris to orgasm, you might end up ignoring the other erogenous zones on your body. While it’s true that your clitoris is usually your most sexually sensitive area, there are plenty of other sweet spots you can pay attention to. It might also be helpful to look into the difference between a vaginal vs. clitoral orgasm.
6. ADD VAGINAL PENETRATION
Although many people think of the clitoris as being completely contained to the sensitive little nub you usually can see and feel, the nerves actually extend downwards into your labial folds, around the vaginal opening, and deep into your pelvis. Many women find that adding vaginal penetration to clit massage intensifies sensation and orgasms, as more of the clitoris is actually being stimulated. Good to know!
7. SWITCH UP YOUR POSITIONS
Another way to get creative with your clitoral play is to try new positions. If you’re used to laying on your back with your legs spread open, trying rolling over to your stomach and grinding down. Or you can try laying on your side and grinding against your hand or a sex toy.
If you’re with a partner, they might have some other suggestions for how best to position yourself so that they can have better access to your clitoris. They might prefer to hold you against them and reach around to massage your clitoris or let you straddle their head as you grind down onto their tongue and lips.
8. LEVEL UP WITH A CLITORIS VIBRATOR
When you’ve gotten to the point that you know your clitoris inside and out, or even if you’re still learning, clitoral stimulators can make vaginal massage, masturbation and partner time lots more fun! These adult sex toys, which usually vibrate, but sometimes use suction or pulses of air, are designed for the express purpose of pleasuring your or your partner’s clitoris. More intense stimulation can help create more intense orgasms and, in turn, increase sexual pleasure. Yes please!
Although great for solo fun, clitoral vibrators are an amazing choice for couples, too. It’s a fact that most women/clitoris owners require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasms. In some (if not most) sex positions, constant clitoris stimulation can be a challenge. With a clitoral stimulator, that challenge disappears! Many clitoral vibes are small enough to fit easily in between your bodies, some even fit over a finger, or can be strapped on. Others were specifically designed to be worn during sex, and let both partners enjoy some vibrating sensation.
Vibrators never get a sore jaw or get tired, and the stimulation is continuous at the same level. No more getting really close to climaxing and then suddenly losing the pressure because your hand got tired!
If you feel like learning more about using clitoral stimulators for some amazing orgasms, check out our blog on how to use a clit vibrator.
Now that you have some ideas about what can feel good, go forth and explore yourself. Set the scene with a scented candle, some relaxing music in the background, or some erotica or porn on TV and prepare to get handsy. Experiment with different positions, pressure, and movements, and we promise that you’ll have a very enjoyable night.