Are you dildo-curious? These days there are so many dildos available in so many shapes, colors, and sizes, one can’t help but wonder what pleasures they might bring. But how do you use one? Don’t be embarrassed if you aren't clear on this, lots of folks have questions about it. If you’re ready to grab a dildo and embark on an orgasmic and pleasure-filled journey of self-discovery (or maybe discovery of someone else!), keep reading because we’re going to break down everything you need to know on how to use a dildo for maximum pleasure!
What is a Dildo?
So, what is a dildo? When you get right down to it, a dildo is simply a sex toy that’s designed for anal and/or vaginal penetration. Dildos are sometimes made to look like realistic penises with veins, a pronounced head, and even balls. Often though, they are what we call “nonrepresentational” which is a fancy way to say they aren’t trying to look like a penis. These can be literally any shape. Some are smooth and simple, some look like tentacles, swords, animals and more. The possibilities are endless.
While some folks still have the misconception that dildos are mostly used by cisgender lesbians, the truth is they can be enjoyed by literally anyone of any gender or sexual orientation. Trust us, whether you're a vagina owner craving some deep-down satisfaction, you’re into anal play, or you’re looking to have a new kind of orgasm with a partner, the right dildo is out there!
Why use a Dildo?
Just as there is a huge variety of dildos available, there is a pretty huge range of reasons someone would choose to use one. Here are some examples:
- To experience penetration when engaging in masturbation and solo play
- To incorporate penetration into partnered sex when no one involved has a penis or when a partner with a penis is experiencing erectile dysfunction.
- To explore double penetration
- To affirm gender identity or sexuality
- To extend the size of an existing phallus
- To simply add some new toys to your collection
This list is by no means exhaustive and you may find you have your own completely different reason for wanting to incorporate a dildo into your sex life. Whatever the reason, you have so many options.
How to pick a dildo
Ready to find your favourite dildo? Figure out your preferences and needs first. Here are some things to think about.
How will you use your dildo?
Do you want to use your dildo vaginally, anally, in a strap-on harness? All of those options can be best served by specific products and knowing what you should be looking for can help you ensure a comfortable, pleasurable experience.
Vaginal Use:
If you aren’t aiming to stimulate specific portions of the internal anatomy, you will mostly want to think about length and girth preferences. If you aren’t sure what you like girth-wise, try inserting your fingers into the vagina, you can then use the number of fingers you're comfortable with to guide your choice. As for length, I advise folks to err on the side of too long because if the toy is too long you can always hold back on how much you insert but if the dildo is too short, you are just left with an unsatisfying purchase.
Now, if you want to stimulate particular anatomical features there’s more to think about. For A-spot or cervical stimulation you would be well served by something long and thin like the Boundless 7 Inch Smooth Probe while folks craving G-spot love might enjoy a shorter dildo with a pronounced head like the Dillio 6 Inch Please-Her Dildo.
Anal Use:
First things first, any anal toy must, must, MUST have a flared base, that is a base that is wider than the thickest part of the dildo. This is a safety issue as toys can be pulled into your butt and require medical intervention to remove. Avoid the ER by making sure your toy is safely anchored outside your body.
Now that that’s out of the way, if you are new to anal penetration, start with a small, smooth dildo like the Boundless 4.5 Inch Slim Probe. You can always go bigger later but if you start out with a large dildo, you are kind of out of luck. That said, if you already know you enjoy girth, the world is your oyster! Now, if you are specifically aiming for anal stimulation, you want to be sure you find something that will effectively target and stimulate. In that case, check out an anal dildo with a big curve and bulbous tip.
Strap-on Use:
When picking out a dildo for strap-on use, you want to make sure it has a flared base that will allow it to be securely worn in a harness. Beyond that, check in with the person who will be penetrated to see if they have preferences when it comes to size, shape, texture etc. If you are just starting out with strap-on play there are some great kits available like the New Comers Strap-On & Dildo Set that will give you a dildo and harness and usually save you some money over buying separately.
A Note on Accessibility:
Wielding a dildo is not physically comfortable for everyone and for that reason it may be worthwhile to consider a suction cup dildo such as the Colours 5 Inch Firm Silicone Dildo that you can mount to any smooth surface as it will stay in place while you get down on it, hands free. Additionally, a dildo with a longer handle like the Man Handler Dildo can help with hand or wrist pain as well as reach issues that can come when the user has shorter arms or a larger belly.
What should your dildo look like?
Do you want it to be ultra-realistic, complete with veins and balls? No problem! Do you want it to be sleek and smooth? No problem! Want it to be cute and whimsical? No problem! What about fantastical and maybe just a little bit scary? No problem!
What I’m saying here is that today’s dildos come in so many shapes, sizes, styles, and designs that there really is something for everyone! Have some fun picking out something that appeals to you.
Do you want vibration?
Some people firmly believe that if your dildo sex toy vibrates, it is no longer a dildo but instead a vibrator. In actuality, there are a number of vibrating dildo options that are still, unquestionably dildos. Some do have a built-in motor in the shaft but a lot simply feature an opening in the base that accommodates a bullet vibrator.
Also, if you have a regular dildo and want to explore vibration, you can always incorporate a vibrating cock ring which will send vibration down the shaft. If you’re curious and want to learn more about dildos vs vibrators, read our linked blog!
What should your dildo be made out of?
You have so many options. Toys made with TPR, TPE, or any kind of realistic feeling material can feel nice but they can also harbor bacteria (eventually trigger unpleasant infections) and smells. Nonporous and easily sanitizable materials include medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, stainless steel, and glass.
How to Use a Dildo Safely
Step One: Warm up
A good rule of thumb when it comes to penetration is “don’t just slam things into orifices without warning”. For this reason, it’s a good idea to spend a little time warming up before using a dildo, whatever that means for you. It might be using a vibrator on the vulva or around the outside of the anus, it may mean checking out some erotica or porn, and it may just mean taking a minute to breathe and connect with your body. Whatever it means for you, make sure you don’t skip it.
Step Two: Go Slick and Slow
When you have a new fun dildo it can be tempting to hop right on and go to town but to ensure maximum pleasure without any discomfort I advise taking it slow and using lots of lube. While vaginas can self-lubricate, anuses cannot, making lube a vital part of safe and enjoyable anal sex. That said, I advise using it no matter what orifice. If you’re experimenting with a silicone toy, you will definitely want to pick a water-based lube but for toys made of glass, steel, plastic or other materials, you can explore the lubricant that feels best for you.
Once you have your lube, slather some on both the toy and the orifice you intend to penetrate. Now it’s time for the big moment, take your time inserting your toy, there’s no rush! Move slowly and allow yourself to savour the sensations!
Step three: Get comfortable
Once your dildo is inserted you get to figure out how you like to use it. Play with motions, angles, speeds, positions and more to create the exact experience you want.
Congratulations, you are using a dildo!
A note on strap-on play
It’s important to remember that unlike a biological penis, a strap-on doesn’t feel things and the user may not be able to feel how deeply they are penetrating their partner. So make sure the partner being penetrated and the partner doing the penetrating are communicating freely. This way you can be sure the depth, speed, motion, and everything else are working for everyone.
Dildo Aftercare Tips
As with any sex toy, you want to clean your dildo after every sexual activity. Even if you are the only person using your toy, keeping it clean can help you avoid exposing your genitals to bacteria that can cause unpleasant stuff like bacterial infections, yeast infections and UTIs.
It’s important that you also know how to clean a dildo, and luckily it’s pretty simple! Once your toy is washed with warm water and a mild soap, make sure to dry it thoroughly before putting it away because mildew is not sexy.
So there you have it! There are so many types of dildos and they can be used in so many ways, making them an awesome addition to any sex toy collection. Whether it's an anal dildo, vibrating dildo, silicone dildo, double ended dildo or strap on dildo, the best dildo is waiting for you. For the best sex toys in Canada, browse our collection today!
