Let’s talk about sex, baby!
Look, the truth is sexual activity is a totally natural and healthy part of human life. In fact, it plays a vital role in both your physical and emotional wellbeing, whether you’re a man, woman, or non-binary person.
The frequency of sexual activity varies among individuals and couples, and what works for one sexual partner may not work for another. When it comes to whether it's good to have sex every day, there are a few factors to consider, including birth control, health benefits, and the impact on different aspects of your own wellbeing, as well as that of your sexual partner.
Some things to consider when it comes to daily sex
First let’s talk about birth control. For couples who aren’t ready to make a baby, ya gotta use effective methods of contraception. Having sex daily without reliable birth control definitely increases the risk of pregnancy! Get with your healthcare provider or local family planning services to talk through the best options for you and your partner. And some good news here: even more options for male birth control are on their way!
In terms of the health benefit, regular sex is associated with a whole bunch of positive outcomes that we’ll get into. For example, engaging in fun things like sexual intercourse releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine, which promote feelings of pleasure, happiness, and relaxation. These hormones can have a positive impact on mental health, reducing stress, anxiety, and even symptoms of depression.
Finally, having frequent sex can bring you and your partner even closer emotionally, especially when you’re experimenting with new things, and communicating openly.
Is it normal that I want to have sex every day?
There’s nothing wrong with you if your sexual desire leads you to want to have sex on the daily! There’s also nothing wrong with you if that’s not the case. Seriously, most of us have at least one thing about sex that has us wonder, “Am I normal in this? Do other people feel the same way (or have the same experience)?”
In the land of partnered sexuality, some studies suggest that the “average” couple has sex roughly once a week. Now, newer couples often have sex more often than that. And the most important thing is that you and your partner find the rhythm that works for both of you.
And if you’re someone who likes having sex a lot, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. Having a high sex drive is like having a superhero power that fills your life with excitement and desire. There can be a whole host of reasons for having a high sex drive, and they're as diverse as the colors in a rainbow. It could be that your hormones are doing a happy dance, or perhaps you've discovered the secret to eternal youth and vitality. Maybe it's because you're deeply connected with your body and its desires, or perhaps you've stumbled upon a magical potion that fuels your libido.
Whatever the reason, embrace your high sex drive like a badge of honor and let it propel you into a world of pleasure and adventure. (And if you’re genuinely concerned that what’s driving your supercharged libido may be anxiety or some other kind of drive you’re not sure about, go see a sex therapist or other professional who can help to support you.)
Is daily sex bad for your health?
The short answer is no! In fact, it can be great for your health. For example, the results of one study suggest that middle-aged and elderly men who have sex once a week are actually more protected from developing erectile dysfunction. Yes, you heard that right! You can reduce sexual dysfunction by having healthy sex regularly.
Another study showed that men who have sex at least weekly were also more prone to good cardiovascular health. Frequent sex has also been linked to a stronger immune system, improved sleep quality, and even a reduced risk of heart disease (reduce your risk of heart attack now with … sex!).
Regarding potential risks, it is worth noting that frequent sexual activity does not increase the risk of miscarriage or cause any harm during pregnancy for individuals with a low-risk pregnancy.
The deal is that it’s often less about the quantity of sex and more about the quality. Really good sex where both people feel connected and satisfied is like sexual medicine: It can light you up, reduce pain, and help you feel close to one another.
3 benefits of having sex every day
1. Orgasms are good for you!
Orgasms are not only a delightful explosion of pleasure, but they also work wonders for your physical and mental health. Think of them as the ultimate self-care treat that comes with a fabulous side of endorphins.
Physically, an orgasm releases a cocktail of feel-good hormones that boost your mood, reduce stress, and promote relaxation. It's like a spa day for your brain, leaving you feeling rejuvenated and blissfully happy. But the perks don't stop there! Orgasms can also have fantastic benefits for your body. They increase blood flow, promote better sleep, and even strengthen your immune system.
2. It's a fantastic stress-buster, and can help with certain health conditions
When you engage in sex daily between the sheets, your body releases endorphins, those feel-good hormones that instantly lift your mood and melt away the worries of the day.
Another consideration is the impact on specific health conditions. For individuals with diabetes, regular sexual activity can help improve blood circulation and reduce the risk of erectile dysfunction. However, it's important to consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice.
Additionally, for men with a history of prostate cancer, studies have shown that frequent ejaculation may help lower the risk of developing the disease. Again, individual circumstances and medical advice should be taken into account.
3. It's a workout in disguise!
Getting busy in the bedroom is a fun and enjoyable way to burn calories, get your heart pumping, and tone those muscles. Who needs a gym membership when you can have a steamy sweat session with your partner?
To sum up, according to Johns Hopkins, “Instead of causing harm, sex may benefit your heart health. Studies suggest that men who have sex at least twice a week and women who report having satisfying sex lives are less likely to have a heart attack. The protective benefits of having sex everyday may be many: Sex is a form of physical activity and helps strengthen your heart, lower your blood pressure, reduce stress and improve sleep. In addition, intimacy in a relationship can increase bonding. Strong social connections … can lower feelings of loneliness, depression and anxiety, which have been linked to higher heart disease risk.”
Fun fact: Sex is also a natural beauty booster. Regular sexual activity increases blood flow, giving you that irresistible glow and leaving your skin looking radiant.
Are there any disadvantages of having sex every day?
Real talk: Engaging in frequent sexual activity (like daily or even multiple times per day) can potentially result in certain physical concerns, especially around sexual health. For example, for men, it's important to note that repeated and vigorous sexual encounters with your partner may lead to penis soreness or discomfort.
Similarly, women may experience soreness due to the repetitive friction during sex, particularly if lube is not used. Lack of lubrication can result in irritation for both you and your sexual partner, so make sure you’re down with both natural as well as water-based or silicone-based lube!
When it comes to the risk factors, it also depends on who you’re having sex with, and what kind of protection you’re using. If you’re having penetrative sex and you’re not using protection, there’s a lot more risk, both of pregnancy as well as sexually transmitted infection (STI).
If you’re doing the casual sex thing, and/or having multiple partners without proper protection can also increase the risk of sexually transmitted infection (STI). Using barrier methods, such as condoms, reduces this risk by a lot. You also want to make sure you’re getting regular check-ups and STI testing, especially if you’ve got multiple boo thangs. Contribute to public health by getting tested on the regular!
Since we’re on the topic of physical health stuff, it’s also good to know that frequent sex can also lead to urinary tract infection (UTI) in women. To avoid UTIs, pee just before intercourse and just after it.
Tips to have better sex with your partner
1. One word will trump all others when it comes to having great sexual intimacy with your partner: Communication, communication, communication!
Healthy communication is the secret sauce for a thriving relationship, ensuring that both partners feel truly heard and understood. To achieve this, get your active listening on, and add in a generous dose of empathy.
Start by creating a safe and judgment-free space where both of you can express yourselves openly. When your partner is speaking, give them your undivided attention, maintaining eye contact and using nonverbal cues to show your interest. Get curious about things like, “What do you enjoy about oral sex? Anything that you’d like to have adjusted when we do that?”
Paraphrase and summarize their thoughts to ensure you're on the same page, and ask open-ended questions to delve deeper into their feelings and perspectives. Remember, it's not just about hearing the words; it's about understanding the emotions behind them.
Be patient, practice empathy, and validate your partner's experiences. By nurturing this kind of communication, you'll create a recipe for a relationship filled with trust, understanding, and a healthy dollop of love.
2. Experiment with different kinds of sex toys (and lube!)
Using sex toys can be a super fun and exciting way to spice things up in the bedroom, enhance sexual pleasure, and get to know one another better.
To incorporate adult sex toys into your intimate experiences, communication and consent with your partner are key. Start by having an open and honest conversation about your desires, boundaries, and any concerns or reservations. Explore sex toys together, such as different types of vibrators, dildos, or couples' toys, and choose ones that pique your interest. Remember that it’s an experiment! You get to try out different things and see what works for you both.
Lube can also be a fantastic way to get things nice and ready to go, especially if one of you has gone through menopause and needs a little assist in the area of vaginal dryness. There are tons of different kinds of lubes to choose from, including ones that cause warming or cooling sensations!
When working with sex toys for women or sex toys for men, experiment with different positions, techniques, and settings to discover what feels pleasurable for both you and your partner. Remember, the goal is to enhance your sexual experience and deepen intimacy, so embrace a sense of playfulness, curiosity, and mutual exploration when introducing sex toys into your bedroom routine. And always make sure to clean your toys before and after use.
3. Be accepting
There are lots of reasons one person might be in the mood … or not. We all know what is libido right? For example, if your partner is getting limited sleep, it’s likely their libido will fall. It’s pretty staggering how much things like sleep affect testosterone levels in men, for example.
So, how do you increase female libido or male libido instantly? Being accepting and compassionate towards both your partner and yourself will help not only your sex life, but your whole relationship overall. A healthy sex life is one that works for both of you.
Bringing it all together
A healthy sex drive varies from person to person and can depend on several factors, including
age, hormones, physical health, and emotional well-being. Sexual desire can fluctuate throughout one's life, and there is no "normal" frequency for sexual activity.
The bottom line is that a healthy sex life involves mutual desire, respect, and intimacy. The frequency of sex should be a result of both partners' preferences and needs. When you prioritize emotional connection and intimacy alongside sexual pleasure, you get the best of all worlds!
---
References
Jean M. Twenge, Ryne A Sherman & Brooke E Wells, "Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, 1989–2014", Archives of Sexual Behavior via ResearchGate, published November 2017. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/314273096_Declines_in_Sexual_Frequency_among_American_Adults_1989-2014
Michael Joseph Blaha, M.D., M.P.H., "Is Sex Dangerous If You Have Heart Disease?" Johns Hopkins Medical Center,
Pien Huang "A new, experimental approach to male birth control immobilizes sperm" NPR. Published February 17, 2023. Accessed May 15th, 2023. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/02/17/1157841943/researchers-found-a-new-approach-to-a-male-contraceptive-used-only-by-mice-so-fa
