You and the ex are done. It's official. You've moved on. They've moved on. You've spent some quality me-time with yourself: listened to some empowering podcasts, read a few books, watched some movies and wrote in your journal. You took some real time to heal. Nice job. You did the work and you know what you want. You know what you need to get your sexy back. And now you're ready for your next big adventure. Regardless of whether it's been a day, a week, a month or even a year, you might eventually find that even if your mind and heart aren't ready to jump into a new relationship, your body definitely needs some attention and appreciation. Enter the one-night stand.
If you go out with the intention of having a one-night stand or just randomly meet someone that you think is exactly what your body needs for the night, there are a few things you'll want to keep in mind to make sure everyone gets the most out of the experience. After all, you only have a few hours. Better make them count!
Be Confident...And Direct
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams…" Sure, Thoreau may not have been talking about a night of no-holds-barred sex with a stranger when writing his thoughts on Walden Pond, but your goal tonight is to live the life you've never imagined...in the bedroom. When it comes to having one-night stands, you need to know what you want and what to do to make it happen. You're going to meet someone and be ready to bring them home. Or, you're going to meet someone and go back to their place. This is no time to be shy! If ever there was a night to be confident and even a little aggressively forthright with sharing your desires this is it.
You also shouldn't be nervous about telling your potential partner that you're interested in nothing more than one night of pure bliss. In all honesty, it's only going to help you in the long run. Both parties should know what the end result is before deciding to engage. After all, you don't want to bring someone home who will be boasting to their friends the next day about how they finally met "the one" and thinking about what to name your kids...while you're back at home and the only major life decision crossing your mind is whether the pizza you left out from last night is still good to eat (Hint: It's not. But you'll eat it anyways. You always do.).
Sex with a Stranger...But Not Just Any Stranger
Just because you're having a one-night stand doesn't mean you have to take on the "Hi, You'll Do" mentality. Don't settle...ever. This is someone that you are going to be incredibly intimate with, so make sure you like them. And while all the cards don't have to line up — they might have different political beliefs or have a hobby you think is a little lame — carnal attraction is what's most important here. This isn't the time to pigeon-hole yourself with a type. Think outside the box. Have sex with a stranger you normally wouldn't give a second thought to. Are you a nonprofit attorney who wants to finally hook up with that hot waiter? Do you normally go for a certain look but are ready to branch out a little (or a lot)? Do it.
That's part of the excitement of a one-night stand — you're not choosing a life partner, you're choosing someone you feel an animal-like attraction to on that particular night. And while you don't have to have the same taste in everything, you'll want to have some pretty basic standards. Choose someone who you enjoy looking at and you enjoy talking to. The one that still lives at home in their parents' basement? Probably not long-term relationship material. But they could be the one that gives you the most mind-blowing orgasm you've ever had during sex after your break-up.
What Is a One-Night Stand Like?
A one-night stand will most likely go one of two ways: it could be incredibly awkward or it could be incredibly awe-inspiring. Yes, you are getting to know a person rather quickly and taking them back to your place (or heading to theirs) in a somewhat timely manner. It's only natural that as the clothes fly off, there could be some initial fumbling involved. But once you're in sync, get ready. They know what they're in for. You know what you're in for. Now it's time to get to work.
What It's Like for You
One-night stands are your chance to try things you've always wanted to try but maybe felt uncomfortable requesting. This is your chance to take charge — or your chance to be submissive. Don't be afraid to say what turns you on. And if it's not working...figure out how to make it work and let them know. Wear something that makes you feel your sexiest. Whether it's sexy lingerie, a pair of incredibly sexy stockings or some sexy men's underwear, it's always a confidence boost to know that underneath your outfit you have something you can't wait to show off (before you get off).
What It's Like for Them
I mean, c'mon — nobody wants to feel like their needs don't matter in the bedroom. Make sure your partner is feeling satisfied, too. After all, this one-night stand wouldn't be happening without them and you very well could be fulfilling a fantasy for them, too. Communicate. What do they want to try? How do they want you to talk to them? Touch them? Treat them? And remember, they're most likely going to talk about this night of unbridled passion with their friends — how do you want that memory to play out? This night could easily go down as the best they ever had. And that's a pretty awesome position to hold in a stranger's life.
The Morning After
If you've decided to have a one-night stand — and your partner is aware that it is a one-night stand — don't make it weird. If you do end up staying the night, don't let them wake up to you staring at them. And make no empty promises to call or keep in touch. Sure, small talk, breakfast and maybe round two (or three) would be nice, but if that's not in the cards, then merrily be on your way (or send them on their way) with absolutely no regrets.
Let PinkCherry Help You Get The Most Out Of Your One Night Stand
Getting back out there after a break-up can be scary, but it can also be exciting. If you just got out of a relationship with someone who might not have ticked all the boxes in the bedroom, now's the chance to have your needs met. If you are looking for some mindblowing no-strings-attached sex, then one-night stands might be the right choice for you. Just make sure you both know what you're in for and always practice safe sex. And don't forget that we have a wide array of discreet vibrators that you can either bring along for a little extra fun or have on hand just in case you don't meet the one that's perfect for this particular night.