What Is Guided Masturbation?

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What Is Guided Masturbation?


Wanna have some wicked sex!? Look, when it comes to personal sexual pleasure, you can’t really beat self pleasure. When you’re ensconced in your own mind, you can safely indulge in any fantasy you want, regardless of how crazy it is.

Want to try orgiastic group sex, or be taken from behind on a pirate ship? How about having your boss lick your pussy in an elevator (or you licking hers) while the whole board of directors watches? Maybe those things are impossible in real life, but not in your head! 

While there are plenty of adult content sites to get you going, visual adult content doesn’t work for everyone (RTA label, anyone?). Arousal is deeply personal, and for a lot of people — especially those who own a clitoris — things like erotic fiction can be a lot more scintillating than visual porn. 


What is guided masturbation? 

When it comes to turn-ons and self pleasure, it can be deeply satisfying to make up scenarios for yourself, but it can also be really nice to have someone else help you out. Yep, we’re talking about guided masturbation — where someone else is guiding you through the experience

Guided masturbation is kinda like guided meditation, only it features sexual themes and self pleasure. This includes someone reading you erotic stories and/or giving you seductive instructions that include how and when to touch yourself. It’s a little bit like phone sex, but in the way that you get to just lie back and receive.

It could be argued that this category also includes JOI, which stands for jerk-off instructions or jack-off instructions. JOI involves a person instructing others on when and how to stroke themselves, and sometimes even when to cum. Sometimes this also involves the person engaging in sexual teasing or doing other sexy acts, but other times it’s more strictly instructional. So whether it’s sensual JOI or bum worship JOI, there’s lots of JOI to be had. ;) 

How do you do guided masturbation?

Morgan Mandriota of Health says, “I’ve been a fan of guided masturbation for years now. When I'm in the mood for this type of play but not able to be with or text a partner so they can give me guidance, I listen to masturbation guides...”

There are a bunch of different options here. Sex educators like Roxy Fox offer sex tutorials on YouTube, and also have guided masturbation tracks as well as videos you can find online. Again, doing a search for JOI or “erotic guide” will get you to a lot of interesting corners of the internet. It’s worth noting that there are also pretty helpful tutorials, like a “how to swallow guide,” or a “how to lick her vulva” teaching session.

But back to mindfulness, sex, self pleasure, and orgasm. Of course there’s also an app for that. ;) Really, there are a number of guided masturbation apps. According to Health, “Guided masturbation apps are for people of all sexual identities and interests. They help arouse, distract, and introduce you to new fantasies and turn-ons outside of your IRL experiences.”

A popular mindful sex option is the audio sensuality app Dipsea. No parental controls needed here — this is an app for adults only. In Madiota’s words, “Apps like Dipsea are a good option for anybody who wants to take their love of erotic fiction to the next level or explore sexual scenarios that they may never actually experience in real life. Dipsea presents so many stories that cater to different types of kinks, fetishes, and interests, like getting it on with a cowboy, sneaking around, queer stories, straight stories, group action, and hookups, among other scenarios.”

So basically you just download an app like this, pick a story that you find interesting or engaging, and start listening. Of course, when it comes to a guided masturbation session, it can help to have the right sex toys already on hand. And while you can get a dildo in the shape of porn star Nacho Vidal’s schlong, there are also a whole bunch of other options now. 

You could try a G-spot toy like a wand, which you could then nickname John Eros and go to town with it. Or maybe you’re into the idea of pussy-worshipping erotica that you pair with an oral clitoral stimulator that mimics oral sex (didn’t know that was a thing? Oh yes, it very much is). 

You could also try a new kind of warming or cooling lube, or finally indulge in those nipple clamps you’ve been wanting to try for ages. Remember that your own sexual consent is yours to give, and that intimacy with yourself counts as “real” intimacy!


Why do guided masturbation?

There are lots of reasons to try it — one of them being because it can be quite freeing. As Madiota puts it, “Usually, I don't need masturbation inspiration, but when I do my brain surfaces people I'm attracted to or a memorable past sexual experience. Occasionally I feel like switching it up and getting inspo from somewhere else entirely.”

In other words, if you want some new instruction material, this delivers. Whether you’re looking to try out a new sex toy, or you want to up your mindfulness game with some meditation masturbation JOI, you can find it.

Look, let’s be real: female self pleasure is not always … encouraged. In the words of sex educator Dr. Jenn, “While sex is a natural act, many societies shame sexuality, particularly female sexuality, which serves to control women's bodies and mind.” 

In other words, it’s time to free your mind! And the rest will follow. Including your body experiencing lots o’ orgasms. Some people get off on being called a sissy. Others love an ASMR-style voice reading them Massage Parlor Guide Chapter 7. Yet others just want to be able to listen to someone describing (in detail) fucking their contractor on the floor of their newly-renovated house while their spouse, hidden, watches from the closet. There are so many types of masturbation to try, like anal masturbation and masturbation during pregnancy.

Who knows? You may just find that the perfect touch is actually your own.

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