Ahhh, oral pleasure. What could be better? While some people consider oral sex more of an act of foreplay, there are also those for whom it’s actually experienced as more intimate than penetrative sex. Plus, whether your partner is kneeling before you or someone’s doing the whole face-sitting position thing, there’s a whole lot of extra stimulation that can go on when you’re going down.
It’s also a super important aspect of your sex life if you’re someone who has sex with a female partner. Why? Because of this hot sex tip: According to sex educators the world over, and as reported by ABC News and related posts, “About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of a sex toy, hands or tongue.”
The operative word there? Tongue! The fact is if you want a clitoris owner to climax (hard) and most joyously, ya gotta be comfy going downtown. And since orgasms are great for sexual health, this is likely going to be an awesome source of mutual pleasure, especially when adult sex toys and personal lubricant are also in the mix.
With that in mind, check out these 5 oral sex positions for both penis- and vagina-havers. Pick and choose which of these different oral sex positions is the best fit for your partnership:
Ideally, everyone has good hygiene, but to make sure the oral experience is the smoothest for everyone involved, it’s a good idea to take a shower or use some clean-up wipes to make everything as fresh as possible down there. Not everyone is into the smell of bodies and sweat, though some people are, and if that’s your thing, more power to you! Fun fact: after the battle, Napoleon himself once famously wrote a brief missive to his lover that said simply, “I am coming home. Don’t wash.” When it comes to oral sexual activity, you never quite know the preferences of others, so it’s also a way to get to know your partner better, and vice versa.
If you’re doing oral stimulation, it’s a great idea to get comfy so that you and your partner can really lean into the experience with each other. Sometimes it can be difficult to get your head in the game if instead of being able to concentrate on the lovely person putting their mouth on you, you’re worrying about work, or laundry, or seeing a messy space and being stressed out. Try removing as many of those hurdles as possible so that you and your partner can enjoy the connective experience oral has to offer.
Oral sex positions for folks with a penis
When it comes to oral positions, there’s no absolute best. After all, the best sex position is usually just the one that has both partners feel the most connected and experiencing the most pleasure — and that depends on the individuals involved.
The other thing is that depending on the position chosen, oral sex can feel like there’s some inherent power play involved, which can be either super hot or a little uncomfortable, depending, again, on what’s going on in the relationship between the two sex partners.
Bearing all that in mind, plus some basics about how the human body works, here are different positions chosen to empower the receiver so that, unless that element is an explicit part of your desired oral experience, the power element is nipped in the bud:
1. Sitting / kneeling
The receiver sits in a comfy chair, maybe upright, maybe slouching. Have the giver kneel in front of them to be able to comfortably and sensually put their lips on that cock. This position allows for slow sensuality, eye contact, and patience. The giver can both make their partner moan with delight and also maintain control over both the pace and how deeply they take the penis into their mouth.
2. Laying on their back
Have the receiving partner lay on a comfortable surface, with a pillow for support and better viewing pleasure. The one performing oral is also lying down, stomach down, with the partners head in between the receiving partner’s legs, with all that glorious personhood right up in their face (that’s the point!). The giving partner is able to hold themselves up as much as is comfortable and can, again, control how much of their partner’s member is in their mouth at any given time.
3. Standing / Kneeling
This is a great position for those who enjoy the power thing referenced earlier. If that’s not your jam, this position might not be right for your coupling. Basically, the partner kneels before the receiver and goes to town. A good rule of thumb is to make sure to have something for the giver’s knees; there’s no sense in letting one partner be over the moon in pleasure while the other is worried about whether or not their knees will even bend by the end of it.
A standing position can either be done with or without a wall for support, though having a wall there to lean on can make things more comfortable. The nice thing about this position is that it has the potential to be super spontaneous.
While not a classic oral sex position, this one is awesome if calm, comfortable oral is what you and your partner are into at the moment. You’re both laying on your sides, with the giver farther down the bed, head lining up with their partner’s cock. You can both prop yourselves up on an elbow for better viewing, comfort, and playful conversation, maybe some roleplay, or dirty talk! This position allows both parties to be quite comfortable, gives you opportunities for eye contact, and allows for a great view of the giver’s body from the receiver’s perspective.
5. Lazy couch-job
Ever wanted to be able to take your time giving head while also being able to watch your favorite TV show or movie with your partner? The lazy couch-job is for you. ;)
Oral sex positions for folks with a vagina
There are lots of great things about getting head if you’re a woman, but one of the top ones is experiencing the enthusiasm of your partner. In the words of Cosmo, “If your guy is worth a damn, he loves going down on you. Watching him love doing it and hearing the noises he makes because he legit loves what's happening is sometimes one of the best things about it.”
Here are some great sex tips for those going down on a vulva-owner:
1. Lay back and relax
Give your lovely vagina-owner some comfy pillows, and let them relax into the experience of being taken for a luxurious mouth ride. They lie on their back and spread those legs, a position that allows for very easy access to the clitoris -- it’s all about that clitoral stimulation!
This position allows you to get to both your partner’s clitoris and vulva while also letting you be a bit more relaxed in terms of your neck muscle use. If they bend their other leg at an angle, you can also use their warm thigh as a pillow; this can really help you ease into the comfort and connectedness of the experience.
Also known as queening, this is a super fun position that a lot of people are quite passionate about. “Sit on my face!” is an enthusiastic refrain heard in bedrooms all over the world.
As a position, whether it is standard or the modified face sitting, it’s just what it sounds like: the giver is lying on their back while the receiver straddles their head, sometimes “smothering” their partner with their thighs. This position allows the receiver to control more of the interaction and also, according to board-certified sexologist Jessica Cline, MSW, Ph.D., lets “the receiver participate more interactively by grinding and moving their hips on the partners head.” Adds Cline, this position “invites in a feeling of domination and submission, which can be incredibly erotic.”
4. On their stomach
Ever tried getting oral while in a kind of low-key, comfortable doggy style? It’s kind of epic, especially if you’re into anything anal at the same time. If you’re the vulva-haver, you lie on your tummy, spread your legs and raise your hips up a bit — a pillow can come in clutch here. This is a fantastic position for rimjobs if that’s your thing, or even penetration with a dildo at the same time as getting head. Either you or your partner can manipulate the best anal dildo or other best sex toys for women for deeper penetration.
5. Legs up around the head
If your partner has ever craved penetration while receiving oral sex, this is another position that can accommodate. The receiver simply lays back, and once their partner has their head in the right place (between those legs, yo), then the receiver wraps her legs loosely around the giver’s head. This is nice because your partner can hold the partners legs from the outside, which is erotic and comforting at the same time. Your partner can also add a penetrative toy if that would feel good.
Another variation of this is called “68,” which is sort of a lazy, comfy version of 69. The giver lies on his back, and the receiver then lies on her back on top of him, with her vajayjay right by his face. She can then wrap her legs around his head, and allow things to progress from there.
Bonus: Side 69
Since the 69 position really isn’t that convenient (one person’s gotta be holding themselves up, which is fine for a short while but can get taxing), and isn’t great for at least one of the partner’s necks, shifting this position to the side is actually kind of great. This allows for both parties to really get into the oral endeavor without as much body pain. This position is also convenient because it allows for taking breaks and using hands to continue the stimulation for some extra pleasure.
If power play is involved in your oral sex experience, aftercare might be needed to make sure your partner knows you’re both into them and appreciate them. Sex in general can be a very vulnerable experience, and you and your partner are playing in areas that might be triggering for either of you, it’s a good idea to bring each other down from that experience in a responsible, kind, and caring way. Lots of kissing, cuddling, and nuzzling is a good rule of thumb here, as is synced breathing, which is a way of having two bodies feel safe with one another.
Now what are you waiting for? You gotta gotta get up and go down. ;)