Have you ever been interested in adding a little something extra to your sex life, but aren’t quite sure how? Ever watched some scintillating adult content (assuming you’re of legal age, obviously) and wanted to, ya know, test something out?
In the words of sex educator Elle Chase, “There are a lot of delightfully sensitive nerve endings in and around the anus, and some people really enjoy having that area licked and massaged."
Yep, we’re talking about rimjobs.
When it comes to sexy time, butt play is one aspect of your erotic life you don’t want to leave behind. The anus is an erogenous zone in its own right, with thousands of nerve endings and a reputation to match. In all seriousness, the taboo of butt stuff can also make it an extra-special part of this kind of play.
And while penetrative anal sex is great, ass play and rimming, or anilingus, are super fun in its own right. Rimming has even gone mainstream — so mainstream, even MasterClass has tips for how to rim like a pro. Eating your partner’s anus is a sex act anyone can get behind regardless of their sexual orientation.
Preparation
The thing about anal play and oral anal sex is, generally, buttholes are not the cleanest areas of the body. The same chute you’re interested in sticking your tongue into and around also regularly acts as the body’s refuse delivery receptacle. That means that if you want to put your mouth on someone’s anus safely, then some prep for the receiver is needed.
Shower
The best option in terms of prep is to take a shower and then engage in rimming directly afterward. Hop, or have your partner hop in the shower and soap everything up to get rid of unwanted refuse and bacteria. They’ll want to pay special attention to cleaning their sphincter both on the outside as well as a little inside, with fingers and mild soap. Once out of the shower — or really, even still in the shower — you and your partner can begin.
Wet Wipes
Now, if you don’t have shower access available, a wet wipe or two can do the trick in a pinch. Fun fact: the anal canal doesn’t actually have that much refuse in it and depending on the receiver’s diet, the anal area might not be that dirty; a cursory cleaning will do. Do you have a bidet? If yes, you can also use this to do a quick surface-level anal cleaning.
Anal Enemas and Douching
Other options for rimjob prep are anal enemas and douching. Both options, done correctly, clear out fecal matter, and have a surface-level anal cleaning process as well. So, be sure you know how to use an anal douche properly. Some people figure that if you’re gonna clean the inside of the booty, you’d better also be cleaning the outside of the booty.
Oral sex positions for those with a penis
Getting a rimjob/ass licking as a penis-haver, from an enthusiastic rimmer, is pretty much the best thing ever. It’s an anal pleasure zen zone, if you will. That said, sometimes ergonomics really dick-tate which kinds of positions are available.
If you’re gonna rim your penis-having partner, it would probably also be fun to also give them a li’l blowjob or handjob too while you’re at it, and a few positions facilitate that.
Missionary
Playing with your partner with them in missionary, with their legs up, is a great one, because all the booty access is right there. You’ve got easy access to anal stimulation, and if you’re creative you can get some handjob and eye contact action involved, too, without too much trouble.
Doggy Style
Another great option is doggy style. Have your penis-haver on their hands and knees, and then your tongue can say hello to their lovely anal opening while you also can squeeze their bottom. Handjobs are also available from this position, though it’s a little more challenging on the wrists due to body position.
If you don’t care about making handjobs part of the equation of the rimming, having the receiving partner lay on their stomach, prone, is always an option, and of course gives you a great view of their delicious back, booty, and leg muscles. Always a good time.
If you want to go the extra mile and use male-specific adult sex toys on your partner, there are also the best anal dildo and butt plugs you can slide in (with personal lubricant) that will stimulate your penis-haver’s prostate, making this type of sexual play an extravaganza of sexual pleasure.
Oral sex positions for those with a vagina
Since those with vaginas won’t necessarily have an appendage that will engorge and sometimes become uncomfortable against a surface (ie. a penis), there are a whole lot more ass licking or rimjob-focused sex positions available.
If you’ve got your vagina-having partner on their back with their legs up,, you can throw in some surface-level best oral sex positions along with that tongue-in-cheek booty action.
Doggy style is just as much fun for vagina-havers as it is for penis-havers in the realm of receiving analingus, and if you plan on penetrating your partner, both orifices are right there for the taking. If you are gonna have anal sex, though, always prepare first — otherwise, you’re inviting pain and injury into your sex life, and the sex life of your partner. Anal play is something you want to both be on the same page about.
Very important note: If you’re going to have anal intercourse with a vagina-haver, make sure to refrain from swapping things from butt to vag (this goes for a cock as well as toys). There are some fairly serious health risks associated with combining butt stuff with P-in-the-V sex, such as bacterial infection. And a bacterial infection really aren’t sexy.
Aftercare
Depending on your rimming partner, sometimes the sexual act of receiving anal attention can be both mind-opening and extraordinarily vulnerable.
In the words of one woman, “as Charlotte put it so eloquently in Sex and the City, ‘Men don’t marry Up-the-Butt Girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-the-Butt?’ Back in 1998 I agreed—and that statement was the first thing that came to mind when my college boyfriend suggested we do the deed a few years later.” But later, she said, she started to really like anal sex. However, “there was still shame—this time about enjoying anal, rather than just engaging in it. It went back to what liking anal sex said about me as a woman. Was I dirty? Deranged? Had I been dropped on my head as a child and this was the outcome of it, manifested decades later?”
The answers to all of those are no. You’re not dirty, deranged, or crazy to want to try something like a rim job or anal play. They’re perfectly normal sex acts that can actually expand your sexual pleasure as well as your connection with your partner.
If your partner is going through some kind of emotional experience after anal play, give them some comfort. Holding, cuddling, silliness, and, well, love, will help them wind down from that experience. You’re both in this together, and being able to show up for them in the tender moments will reinforce your ability to hold them through all the sexy and non-sexy moments.
Risks
Rimming does come with some risks. You can get Hepatitis A, but this can be mitigated with dental dams, which we’ll get to. And like many other sex acts, rimming can spread sexually transmitted infection (STIs) like HPV, herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and syphilis. One you don’t have to worry about as much is HIV — in the words of the Centers for Disease Control, “There is little to no risk of getting HIV from … oral sex that involves putting the mouth on the penis (fellatio), vagina or vulva (cunnilingus), or anus (rimming) … For HIV transmission to occur, something very unusual would have to happen.”
To reduce the risk of giving or getting an STI when rimming, you can use a dental dam, which is just a thin sheet of latex you put over the partners anus while you’re doin’ thangs. There are also tongue condoms (yes, this is a real thing), which are specifically designed for safe rimming. Also, note that if you’ve got active cold sores, you shouldn’t give a rim job. And just a friendly reminder that if you’re doin’ the sexual activity thing, it’s a good idea to get tested regularly and encourage your partner to do so, as well.
To close this out, we’ll leave you with an enthusiastic ”review” of the rimjob:
“Kellan, 20: ‘Getting your asshole licked is akin to relaxing into your deepest, naughtiest desires. Maybe you begin to tense at first… “Oh, he’s putting his tongue THERE…’ but the wet mouth flicking against your most delicate skin feels too good—like fingertips grazing on the inside of the thigh. When you give in, it’s wet, tantalizing, ticklish, and erotic.”
