The wonderful world of pegging has gone mainstream. As it’s in full force, perhaps you and your dearest partner(s) are interested in taking another look at how to make your prostate-owning knees weak with pleasure? Maybe you’d even like to enlist the help of a few adult sex toys?
If you’re new to strap-on based backdoor boinking, or you want a little inspiration to get things just right between you and your very own booty boo, come take a look at some sassy, sexy sex positions and techniques that are great for pegging, and maybe even some hot sex tips.
What is pegging?
In case you’ve never heard of pegging, here’s the short version: It’s when someone (of either/any sex) uses a strap-on to penetrate the anus of someone else (of any sex).
Now, the way it has been portrayed in the media, or discussed on podcasts like Dan Savage’s Savage Love podcast, is a bit more specific. The term was originally coined in the early 2000s, and was used to refer to a cis-gender, hetero woman penetrating her cis, straight male partner. But as may be obvious, the act itself doesn’t require anyone to be any kind of specific gender, sex, identity, or otherwise. Everybody's got a butthole and just about anyone can wear a strap-on — so pegging is for all!
Why peg or be pegged, you ask? In a word, pleasure. It can be super pleasurable for a person with a prostate to get that good, good anal lovin’, as long as it’s done in the right way. The fact is the P-spot is a real thing, and stimulating it can feel really good. While a lot of straight men tend to be hesitant about exploring this particular backdoor cavern, it would behoove them to get into the groove, because it can be explosively awesome.
In addition, if you’re a penis-owner who has never experienced pegging, it can be helpful in terms of your own attunement to your partner (if you’re someone who penetrates them). According to research by Dr. Charlie Glickman, well-known sexuality educator, heterosexual men who’ve experienced pegging are then more in tune with what their vulva-owning partners need during penetration.
In addition, the experience of being in the penetrating position can open up a partner’s ability to speak up. As one man put it, “[Pegging] was my ex girlfriend’s idea, she read about it and brought it up with me. I was skeptical at first, but even now that we’re not together anymore, it’s something I do with my new partner. We don’t do it very often but even when we just have regular sex, she’s a lot more assertive, which I think is really hot.”
How to do pegging
In order to become a pegging pro, you’ll need three different items: 1) a harness; 2) a strap-on dildo; and 3) lube. In some cases you’ll want a few different dildos so you can use different sized ones. This will also depend on the preferences of your bottom. If you’re both new to pegging, you’ll want to start smaller and work your way up. And don’t forget the lube! Lube is your BFF when it comes to any anal sex act, so it might be worth your time to invest in the one of the best lubes for anal sex.
When it comes to harnesses, there’s a whole range. You can pick up starter sets for ~$30, while more customized ones can be upwards of $200. Those are more for when you really know what you want and you’re experienced in the art of pegging. When you’re just starting out as a pegging beginner, a starter set should be just fine.
It’s also worth noting that you don’t have to be limited to a harness that puts the dildo right where a cock would go on a penis-owning individual. If you want to, there are harnesses that attach to other body parts, such as your thigh. You can get really creative with different pegging positions in this way, although there’s something deliciously satisfying about actually having a strap-on in exactly the location where a cock would go, if you’re not a cock owner. There’s something empowering about being the penetrator, and mimicking more exactly that experience.
Finally, in case you’re getting really into it and you’re a vulva-owner, it’s good to know that people like sex toy designer Alicia Sinclair are creating new kinds of devices, such as the “strapless” strap-on. This sex toy uses your own vaginal muscles to stabilize itself, making it potentially even more pleasurable for all. Tech ftw!
Best sex positions for pegging
The choice of sexual positions can have a significant impact on the sexiness, connectedness, and dominance/submissive dynamic between partners. Some of these positions lean into those elements, and some allow beginners to get a little more into it.
It’s also good to remember that there’s no absolute best position for anal sex; finding the right one for the two people involved requires communication and cooperation. There are a lot of nerve endings down there, and it can be a pretty fine line from, “This feels fucking great!” to, “Why isn’t that thing out of me already?” It’s a privilege to stick things into that booty, so make sure that Post-Pegged Paul wants to come back for more booty in their sex life.
1. Doggy style position
This is a quintessential pegging position! Make that man prostrate himself before you (or make them prostrate themself) to look at those sexy back muscles. The doggy position allows for deep penetration, so make sure your partner is capable, willing, and excited to take whatever-sized object you wish to thrust into them.
2. Cowperson
More colloquially known as cowgirl or cowboy position, this position involves the pegged (receiver) sitting on top of the pegger, facing them. This allows for some deep, sensual eye contact, and maybe some kissing if you both meet in the middle. This is a nice position for beginners in taking things up the butt, and it also allows access to the genitals, so whatever delicious parts your partner has there, you can give them some love and affection while also allowing your strap-on to say hello to their insides.
3. Reverse Cowperson
Again, this could both be Reverse Cowboy or Reverse Cowgirl. This position requires some finagling to get the angles right, but once you’ve got that down it allows for a reeeeally great view of some rippling and throbbing back and booty muscles. If you’re very visually aroused, this might be the position for you (provided everyone’s bodies, knees, and hips feel comfortable and supported).
4. Missionary
This sex position gets a lot of flak, but there’s a lot of intimacy and sexual pleasure available here, since your partners’ parts are all right there while the strap-on penetrates. Eye contact abounds here, and your partner can use their legs to pull you in a little (or a lot) if they’re really getting into it.
5. Pronebone
This position allows for some deeper penetration, as well as the delicious ability to press up against dat ass (who doesn’t love squishing against a booty??). If you want to get into some more dominant territory, this position is also great for tying your boo to the bed so that all they can really do is take it — perhaps leading to some intense orgasms (sign me up!).
6. Spooning
This position is great for when you don’t want to have to work super hard, but also want to have some great pegg’n sex. Cuddle up next to your partner from behind, hold them tender, gently thrust, and maybe throw in a hand job. If that’s not true love, then there’s really no light in the world.
7. Lap Dance
The pegger sits back in a sturdy chair (important that it’s sturdy, folks) while their partner does most of the peggin’ work here. Lap dance position allows for some fun performance and teasing, and allows the pegger to take a fun sexy break.
Additional pegging dil-do’s and dil-don’ts
Dil-Do: Clean your anal sex toys after use. When it comes to how to clean sex toys, you can put silicone, glass and steel toys in the dishwasher (yes, really — unless they’ve got electronic bits) and potentially give your roommates a sex toy surprise!
Dil-Don’t: Lose focus on your partner. Some positions don’t allow you to easily see or read your partner’s facial expressions, which means it can be easy to lose track of how well everything is sliding down there, or whether the angle is still working. Bottoms need to speak up to make sure they’re having a good time, but everyone should be looking out for each other’s pleasure and comfort. Communicate!
Dil-Do: Use pillows to make these sex positions a little easier on your knees. Sex is supposed to be fun, and being in a compromising position for a long time, or just having different body sizes, can create all sorts of difficulty that can distract from that blessed booty bangin’. Make sure everyone is comfortable.
Dil-Don’t: Go from 0 to 60 right away. Anal sex requires some settling in so that both members can get into a comfortable rhythm. The easiest way to close off the booty is to try to use it as a fast lane when it reeeeeaally needs to start out as a slow lane.
Dil-Do: Start out with easier positions if you or your partner don’t have as much booty-penetrating experience. Anal play and anal stimulation take some getting used to, despite some partners thinking they can just jump right in. Done well, it can feel incredibly good; especially if you’re in the penetrating position with a male partner, he’ll/they’ll want to stick around if you manage to make them fall in love with prostate orgasms!
