What is Pegging? A Guide for Beginners

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What is Pegging? A Guide for Beginners

 

Feeling strapped for new bedroom ideas? Pegging might be just the thing to bring your partner’s moans of pleasure to a whole new volume.

As a term, pegging has only been around since roughly 2001, but has grown immensely in popularity. It has even showed up on the silver screen in shows like Comedy Central’s Broad City, where Abbi Jacobson’s character brings this lovely prostate-gland-stimulating sexual act from the back to the front of popular consciousness, bringing smiles to those (potentially) heterosexual man prostates.


What is pegging?

While pegging has traditionally been known as the act of a cis-woman using a sexy harness and properly-affixed dildo to explore the caverns of a penis-haver’s anus, the act really only describes using a strap-on for anal penetration (regardless of gender). 

As it turns out, everyone’s got the ability to both wear these adult sex toys, and everyone’s got an anus, so really pegging is an activity in which anyone can participate. Traditionally it has been a term used to describe a sex act engaged in by heterosexual couples, but as roles continue to change, so, too, do the terms we use.

Dan Savage, of the Savage Love podcast, originally coined the term in the early 2000s, and as stated it was originally intended to refer to a cis, straight woman penetrating the anal canal of a cis straight man. But times are a-changin’, and so our definition of pegging has been updated to mean anyone penetrating anyone else with a strap-on. When asked if pegging can refer to a woman pegging another woman, for example, Dan Savage himself chimed in with, “I’ll allow it.”

For men, pegging can press the wonder-button (the prostate) in just the right way. This is a sensation heterosexual men both in the United States and abroad tend not to experience much, but should perhaps embrace more. Prostate stimulation and prostate play can be immensely, intensely pleasurable and are very much worth exploring.


Equipment needed

When it comes to equipment, peggers really only need three things: A harness, a strap-on penetrator, and lots of lube. It’s definitely nice to have the ability to swap out the strap-on so you can use different widths or lengths of dildo. It’s helpful, if you’ve got a very enthusiastic bottom, to make sure to have the ability to get them all the way to cloud nine.

Harnesses come in various sizes and of differing qualities, with starter sets in the $30 range. If pegging becomes a regular part of your sexual repertoire, you may want to invest in a harness that’s more durable as well as customizable, and those kinds of harnesses can cost a bit more — in the $200 range, and even more if you get something custom-made. 

Additionally, just because the pelvis is where a cock normally goes (and thus is a popular spot in which to have a strap-on), there’s no reason you can’t peg to your heart’s content with a harness that attaches elsewhere on your body, such as your thigh. The very handy thigh harness can also allow for different kinds of angles to be achieved. You can get even crazier and get a chin harness for that strap-on, but you’ve got to be prepared to use some serious neck muscles.

One other thing to consider is that should you have the proper vaginal equipment, sex toy creators like Alicia Sinclair are hard at work making new devices, such as the “strapless” strap-on, which can be stabilized with the vaginal muscles and upper vaginal wall, and can even have vibrating apparatuses to make the experience even more enjoyable for everyone involved. Technology! 


Preparation

As with any time of anal play, prep is a vital and necessary step when it comes to pegging. Only sadists and amateurs “go in dry,” so unless both you and your booty bottom are ready for that level of discomfort, just … don’t.

First up when it comes to prep is lube, lube, glorious lube. There are three distinct types of lube: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. It’s your personal preference which to use, but you do want to make sure whatever you select is compatible with the sex toys you’re using. Silicone lube, for example, can damage toys made of silicone (as can oil-based lubes). So a lot of people stick to water-based lube just to be safe. You can get lube of your choice at your local sex shop, or online.

The other thing to mention is that if you’re a bottom, you should avoid using a numbing lube of any kind until you’ve experienced buttstuff and know what it feels like and where your natural limits are. Your pain or discomfort is critical to know about, because they’re your body’s way of alerting you that something needs to change. If you don’t listen, you could end up with small tears to the anal tissues (aka anal fissures), and you really don’t want that for a variety of reasons.

Once your desired booty is lubed up with one of the best anal lubes, you’ll need to also make sure it’s comfortably relaxed. One cannot just go shoving large objects into a small hole without at least a little coaxing. Now would be a good time to have a set of graduated butt plugs to help loosen that hole area up. Doin’ it up with foreplay like oral sex, making out, and sensual massage is also a fantastic idea.


How to engage in pegging itself

For vulva-owners who’ve never used their pelvis to thrust into another human being, pegging can be a huge change of pace — and muscles. Getting everything to line up properly is also vital, so here’s an overview on the dos and don’ts of prostate/strap-on action:

  • Communicate

Butt sex can be vulnerable, especially if it’s not part of your partner’s regular repertoire. Talk about what turns you on about the experience, ask them about their likes and dislikes, and discuss pegging positions they’d like to try. During this and any sex act, it’s a good idea to check in to see if they’re still enjoying it as much as you imagine they are. 

  • Be familiar with your gear

Take some time to really understand your strap-on gear, whether it’s a harness or strapless option. 

  • Line everything up properly

Make sure to get your strap-on to line up with your partner’s anus. This may sound obvious but you’d be surprised how challenging it can be if you’re not used to it. And if it isn’t working (which it might not), have your prostate-owner do the lining up for you — they have more sensations down there than Strap-on the Strong, and you’re less likely to injure them with some self-booty-hole guiding. You want those nerve endings to sing with joy, not discomfort.

  • Go slow and steady at first

That booty isn’t a highway — at least not yet. You’ve got to ease your prostate pal into the experience, and help them feel sexy while doing so. Now might be a good time for words of encouragement, or fun dirty talk if that’s your jam.

  • Convey your enjoyment

Your partner will likely enjoy the experience of being penetrated way more if you yourself also demonstrate how much fun you’re having. If you’re enjoying yourself (and you probably are), find ways to show it! Make fun sounds, say sexy things, show your excitement through your body.

  • Extra bonuses

If you’ve got easy access to your partner’s genitals while you’re strappin’, you can definitely throw some of that fine handwork into the mix. When it comes to anal play, sexual pleasure is the goal, so it’ll likely be well received!


Afterwards and aftercare

For partners who don’t do it on the regular, pegging (and anal pleasure in general) can be an emotional and vulnerable experience, regardless of sexual orientation. While not everyone will find it a sensitive or tender experience (and/or it might not be this way every time), helping your partner feel cared for and supported is a vital step for both pegger and peggee. Aftercare, folks! It’s currency worth investing in.

Cleanup is an equally important part of the pegging process. Just because there isn’t an exchange of fluids (from bottom to top, in this case), that doesn’t mean you’re relieved of your responsibility of cleaning your implement — it’s 100% part of the post-pegged requirements.

If you’re using a harness, that also needs to be cleaned, and if it’s genuine leather you’re going to need to do a little more to keep it nice and supple. This usually involves using some sort of appropriate saddle soap for your device's leather.


Be careful

Last thing — butts are sensitive, yo, so be careful with them. :) Even if your partner thinks they’re able to take the Horse Cock 5000 right off the bat, it may be prudent to start them off with Pony Cock 200 … just to make sure.

There are a number of excellent resources on how to properly engage in pegging, butt stuff breakdowns, and related articles from active and knowledgeable individuals like Lola Jean and Charlie Glickman. It’s a brand-new world with ever-changing gender and sex norms, and if you’d like to add penetrative sex with dat silicone toy as a regular part of your sex life, then have at it. There are many willing booties to be found!

 

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