Dildo Sizes: Choosing The Right Length And Width

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What Is A Sex Swing?

 

Listen, dildos are kind of like people: They come in a whole bunch of different sizes and shapes. There are small dildo, big dildo, and medium dildo options. Plus, you’ve got the style and material of the toy itself: silicone dildos, glass dildo, harness compatible dildos (oh hi, pegging), super realistic dildo, vibrating dildo, dildos with a super long shaft, and double dildos (fun for two!).

Now, when it comes to sexual pleasure, getting the right dildo size that a) feels great and b) hits all the right places is important. People’s bodies and their respective openings aren’t one-size-fits-all — a large dildo might be delightful and exciting for one person, but uncomfortable and pain-inducing for another. A friend of yours might be a size queen who wants a king cock, while you might be more into a mid-sized dildo. Variety is the spice of life!

Finally, remember that dildo sex toys are for everyone! They can be really fun anal sex toys and are great for simulating P-in-V (or P-in-Any orifice) sex. Dildos, when they’re just the right size and fee for you or your partner, have oh-so-many options available for ecstasy-inducing contentment.

 

Dildo sizing overview

Most dildos have 4 measurements of note: Length, insertable length, width, and girth. Wondering about average dildo size? Well, we don’t love the term ‘average’. Really, it all comes down to personal preference. So, here are some basics.

 

Length

Length is pretty obvious — this is how long the dildo is in total. When erect, the average penis size is just over 5 inches. Many dildos are a little larger than average. Also, if you’re flying solo, it sometimes helps to have a dildo that’s slightly longer than what it’s gonna be put into, because then you can adjust angles or length more easily. That may not be true for a partnered activity like pegging, because you may want your partner to be able to comfortably take the entire length. 

 

Insertable length

This is a measure of how much of the dildo is intended to be inserted, or penetrated. Sometimes a dildo will have a handle, or balls, or a flared end that establishes a base. This is an inbuilt safety feature so that you don’t accidentally play Hide the Dildo and have to make a visit to the emergency room. (Yes, this really happens!)

 

Width

This is a measure of how wide the dildo is from side to side. This measure is usually taken at the widest point, or else the widest point is specified in a separate measurement. This is especially important for anal dildos that taper towards the front and widen farther down.

 

Girth

Girth is the circumference of the dildo. Again, this might list circumference at the widest point as well. 

 

How to choose the right dildo for your particular anatomy

The easiest way to figure out how big, small, thick, or thin your new dildo should be is to go by a penetrative toy you already own. If you love the feel of that sex toy, measure it up and compare it with the measurements of the dildo you’re looking into. A measuring device like a soft tape measure will come in handy.

Barring that, you could pick up a very basic, inexpensive dildo or dilator made of body-safe material, and use that. This may not end up being your forever dildo, but it can help with the measurement part. 

Being aroused is also important. If you’re a vagina-owner, you probably already know (but it’s worth repeating) that the vagina can accommodate more when you’re aroused. So turn on your sexiest tunes, conjure up your favorite eroticism scene, and get yourself good and excited before taking measurements!

 

Selecting the right length

If you’re taking measurements with an ever-so-helpful partner, they can help with this part (fun!). Having someone else around can make the task much easier, but it’s totally fine to do solo as well.

Once you’re good and ready, slide your stand-in dildo/toy/smooth object in and out of yourself. When you get to the furthest point you feel comfortable, keep your fingers that far down the handle, remove the object, and measure down to your fingers. If it makes it easier, you can also mark the object, and measure it to your mark. Voila! You’ve found the right length.

 

Selecting the right width

The width is a little harder to do solo. If you’ve got your assistant on hand, have them insert one finger after another into your vagina until you’ve reached a comfortable fullness. Then take their fingers out and wrap a soft tape measure around them. That measurement is the girth you’re looking for.

You can try this with your own fingers, you just might have a little difficulty getting the angle right. 


Sizing for dildos

Once you’re armed with your measurements, dildo shopping becomes a lot more fun! What kind do you want? There are tons of different dildo varieties, many of which can simulate penetrative intercourse. Do you want suction-cup dildos you can attach to a shower wall? I mean, that’s fun because you can get super frisky with hot water rolling down your body, bouncing hard and vigorously down to the suction cup base.

If you’re planning to use a strap-on, you’ll want a harness-compatible dildo. This type of penetrator will have a flared base that’ll play nicely with the wonderful harness or strap-on system you’ve been dying to try out. Why use a strap-on? For all that pleasurable pegging, of course! 

In the words of one woman describing what she loves about pegging, “For me it's the way my boyfriend fucking moans and writhes while I'm fucking him. It's SO different and so hot. He's usually pretty quiet when he fucks me but he moans soooooo loudly when I'm pegging him. Our power dynamic definitely switches when we're pegging and he becomes incredibly submissive.”

 

Sizing for strapless dildos

Never heard of strapless dildos? You’re not the only one. These magical devices - also called strapless strap-ons - are made solely for vagina owners, because you need those super-strong vag muscles to keep a strapless dildo in place. They work really well for some folks, but others have mixed feelings about strapless dildos. As is the way of the world!

Strapless dildos require a separate fitting process. You need to know whether the bulb your/their vagina will hang onto is a comfortable size and width.

 

Sizing for anal dildos 

Sizing for anal sex toys is different, as well. The anal dildo’s girth is what you’ll most likely feel during penetration, so figuring out how much girth at the widest point you want for anal play is a good place to start. 

There are adult sex toys with very, very large girths, but for the most part those are for Olympic-level sex acts, and not something most people would want to bring into their daily sexual practice.

The best way to get anal dildo sizing is for someone else to do the inserting and measuring for you, so you can focus entirely on relaxing. A relaxed bum is going to be able to take more hefty dildos (if that’s what you’re going for). 

In order to do this you’ll want to get into a comfortable position; maybe that’s on all fours with your butt up in the air, maybe it’s laying on your side, maybe it’s laying on your back with a pillow under your bum. Once you’re here, have your lovely helper lube up your anus, and slowly and diligently insert their fingers. The relaxation process isn’t instant — it does take a minute. It will likely also take longer if you’re new to anal penetration.
Start with one finger, in and out, and slowly move onto more fingers. Leave the fingers in for a little while to allow your body to get used to the sensation. Once you feel like you’re at the most relaxed, have them try to insert as many fingers as are comfortable for you. Then slowly and gently remove those fingers and use that trusty soft measuring tape to see how wide the girth of the combined fingers is. And don’t forget the lube!!

If you don’t want to go the fingers route, another great option is to pick up an anal training set. This way you can easily see how large a sex toy you can comfortably use before feeling too much stretch. Don’t forget to clean any and all toys with warm soap and water or toy cleaner (some toys even come with it).

Once you’ve got your desired measurements, you can also pick up a fun new anal plugs or beads and enjoy the butt plug benefits or other exciting anal toys made by reputable companies like Square Peg Toys. These can go snugly in your bum, hitting all the right places just for you because you took the time to figure out all that nitty-gritty size stuff. Well done!

 

 

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