Fun fact: the strapless strap-on was invented in the early 2000s by an ingenious lesbian named Mia. These are sex toys for lesbian couples who want to feel pleasure while penetrating their partner(s). That first strapless strap-on, the Feeldoe, has been enhanced and endowed with even more exciting features ever since.
If you’ve got a vagina and you’d like to be a penetrating partner, a strapless strap-on is a pretty intriguing option. It’s also helpful to mention that, as with many things, strap-ons can be sexually fun for all. Queer women dig strap-on sex, as do any number of straight women, non-binary folks, and those of other sexualities. Cis women, trans folks, and gender-nonconforming people are all fans of strapless strap-ons.
So what’s different about a strapless strap-on? Well, traditional strap-ons offer a secure way to penetrate your partner to your heart's content — you use a harness to make sure the dildo stays attached to your body. But maybe you’re thinking, “Why not also enjoy a little G-spot and/or clitoral stimulation myself, while penetrating?” Enter the strapless strap-on!
What is a strapless strap-on?
So, what’s a strap on and how is it different from a strapless strap-on? A strapless strap-on is either a dildo or vibrator that’s made to be used without harnesses or straps. Strapless strap-ons are used by couples of all genders for intercourse and/or pegging.
The truth is, strapless strap-ons can look kind of strange or intimidating if you’ve never seen one before (as one sex writer put it, “If you’ve never seen a strapless strapon before, you’re probably thinking, ‘What the heck?’ And yes, you would be correct as that’s the first thing that went through my head when I saw one.”)
But despite their, ahem, unconventional appearance, strapless strap-ons (sometimes known as strapless dildos) are kind of awesome. Why? Well, primarily because the perk of the strapless strap-on is that it cuts out the harness completely. Unlike most strap-ons, there are no straps, buckles, or fasteners to be found here.
Depending on your strap-on of choice, these puppies can also come with additional joys and pleasures for any wearer, including those with unique or the most common fetishes . For example, some can act as a vibrating strapless G-spot dildo, creating the ultimate strapless strap-on experience for the wearer.
How does a strapless strap-on work, exactly?
Unlike strap-ons that involve harnesses that you attach to your body, the strapless strap-on is, in essence, a dildo with a bulb attached to it. The wearer inserts the bulb part into their vagina and keeps the strap-on in place with their pelvic floor muscles.
Thus, somewhat like a double dildo, both heads of the strap-on are meant to be used at the same time. The bulb-like head inside the wearer is used to both stimulate pleasure and stabilize the strap-on; and the other head is for the partner receiving penetration to enjoy, whether that’s vaginally, anally, or otherwise.
A strapless strap-on is a great addition to the arsenal of any partnership with at least one vagina-owner, since the penetrating end of the strap-on can be used for both vaginal and anal penetration. It can even offer vibration-based G-spot or prostate penetration.
Types of strapless strap-ons
There are a few different types of strapless dildos, mostly in terms of whether they come with extra vibration-featured gizmos and even a butt plug feature, or are tried and true simple penetration toys. The actual dildos also come in varying shapes and sizes, with some quite large and others quite small and even, in some cases, not in the shape of a penis.
Either type of strapless strap-on will offer the ability to penetrate and connect with your partner, but adding a bit of buzz into the mix can be both fun for the receiver and wearer. For example, some strapless strap-ons have a little slot in which you can insert a baby bullet. Others have their own built-in vibrations waiting to stimulate you. Like any vibrating g spot dildo, if you choose this version, the toy will have its own control mechanism. Sometimes you can manipulate it with a remote control, sometimes a mobile app, and sometimes a switch or button on the dildo itself.
Some strapless strap-ons come in rabbit varieties for added clitoral stimulation. Some even include a little anal sex end (such as anal beads) for the wearer, if you really want to go for the Lose Your Mind Sensation Overload experience.
How to wear a strapless strap-on
If you’re a beginner in the land of strapless dildos, you likely want to try one with a larger vaginal bulb, like the Fuze Tango. This will make it easier to hold onto the bulb end with your pelvic floor muscles (kegel muscles, in common parlance).
To wear a strapless strap-on, simply insert the smaller, vaginal bulb (nicknamed the saddle horn) inside yourself so it presses up against your G-spot. This leaves the longer penetration end facing outwards, looking like you’ve got a penis coming directly out of your own body!
If you’re new to all this, getting a strapless strap-on without additional bells and whistles might be a good choice so that there aren’t any extra distractions. Ultimately you want to get a feel for the unique motions and control that a strapless strap-on requires.
Another key feature to pay attention to when picking a strapless strap-on is the insertable length. You don’t necessarily need a giant dildo to get the most out of the strap-on experience, and your partner might not be able to handle the length or girth, depending on the sex you’re having. Starting small is always a good idea!
How to use a strapless strap-on
If you’re new to strap-on sex, starting with a straps-included version might be a good idea, since this’ll help you get the hang of the general motions needed.
Basically a strapless strap-on is a more advanced variant of strap-ons, and getting the positioning right, and keeping the penetrating head fixed in the correct position can take some time. Using pelvic floor exercising toys like ben wa balls can help you get the strength and control necessary to fully go no-straps.
Additionally, there are some better sex positions to use while learning the ropes that might be easier for you to get a hang of how to both penetrate and use your pelvic floor muscles at the same time.
In order to make things fun and slidey, sometimes lube is necessary (it’s always necessary if you’re going to participate in anal play), so be ready to double-check the materials of your strap-on dildo so that everything is good, sanitary, and safe.
If your strap-on dildo is made of silicone, silicone lubes (including hybrid silicone lubes) are a no go because they can degrade the quality of your toy. It’s also always important to clean your strap-on between partners, using sex toy cleaner or some other cleaning method.
If you’re at a play party or in some other multiple-partner scenario, you can also put a condom on your strap-on, which is a perfectly fine and safe way to make sure the fluids of your multiple bottoms aren’t crossing over in pegging, vaginal intercourse, or whatever type of penetrative sex you choose. Bear in mind, too, that using latex condoms also takes away the option of oil-based lubricants because it can degrade the latex barrier, turning it into a sad, ineffective balloon helmet.
Spontaneous sex is always great, but do make sure to be prepared with the right mix of lubes and protection strategies so that everyone involved can find their own personal cloud nine.
With a bit of determination, craftiness and strong kegel muscles you can take that strap-on out of sex toy storage and be having strap-on sex like Maria Pie in no time. And once you’ve become a strapless strap-on pro, you can try more complicated strap-on sex positions and more elaborate BDSM toys, and maybe even explore fun contraptions like sex swings!
Advantages of using strapless strap-ons
According to writer and sex educator Cameron, part of the reason strap-ons are particularly fun to play with is because they’re not a mainstream norm. “Strap-ons are fun because they’re this way of making fantasies that seem more taboo actually attainable for many people,” she explains. “Many of us are attracted to things within sex and sexuality because they play with expectations and societal norms, and to do so with adult sex toys can be incredibly sexy and powerful. Plus, it can be a great ego boost.”
Adds sex tech designer Alicia Sinclair, “[S]ometimes the allure [of strap-on sex and pegging] does tie into a desire to step into a different sexual role … [You may want] to alter standard power dynamics or to play with perceptions of gender—when done in a safe, consensual setting, the bedroom is a great place to explore these fantasies and desires.”
Plus, there are the practicalities of freeing up those hands and combining sex toys. In the words of another woman, “The appeal for me really is the ability to use a vibrator during sex hands-free. It allows me to also place smaller bullet vibrators in the strap-on that work to pleasure me while we’re having sex.”