There’s a famous line in the movie Braveheart, when Mel Gibson (aka William Wallace) cries out to his men, “They may put us in cock cages- but they’ll never take our FREEDOM!”
Okay, maybe that’s paraphrased, but the sentiment is basically the same. Freedom exists in your mind, not your physical body. One of the best ways to expand your mind is to restrict your body. Want to challenge a penis owner’s belief system? Lock him in a cock cage! If you’re ready to take your sense of self and relationship with sexuality to a whole new level, then keep reading. This one will really blow your kilt up.
First though, we’d like to note that this article directly addresses anatomical (penis owning) males as the presumed wearer of the products we refer to, however we encourage partners of all genders and across the spectrum of orientations to read this before engaging in any chastity or cock cage play.
What’s a Cock Cage?
A true cock cage is a type of chastity device designed to confine a man’s flaccid penis in a way that prohibits an erection without causing discomfort or pain. Usually, a lock and key is involved. Chastity devices and cock cages can be made of bodysafe plastic, silicone, steel or other materials that affect the feel of them. Chastity devices are employed for various erotic reasons and/or intimacy building between the wearer of the device and their chosen key holder. Cock and ball cages are often considered a BDSM sex toy because of their association with pain and discipline.
So, those are the cold hard facts about cock cages. But maybe you need more than that before deciding to try one alone or with a partner? If that’s the case, keep reading. This isn’t just a beginner’s guide to cock cages, it’s also a pre-beginner’s guide designed to contextualize and normalize a person’s natural interest chastity devices to help put them on par with other sex toys and erotic acts.
Here you'll find the tools you'll need to help you decide if you want to take the next steps toward using a cock cage or male chastity device. Get ready to expand your mind and (possibly) confine your penis!
Unlocking the Mystery
When it comes to cock and ball cages, there seem to be two distinct groups of people- those who use them regularly and those who’ve never tried one. This is not the case with other types of sex toys, which are used to varying degrees and in a wide variety of ways. Why is it that cock cage users and wearers go all-in or not at all?
Hunting down the answer to this question was especially interesting for the sexologists here at PinkCherry for a few reasons. For one thing, we know for a fact that the folks buying and trying cock cages are very happy with them, based on direct feedback and reviews. We also know that people of all walks of life love trying new things sexually.
The phrase “novelty items” came to describe sex toys because sometimes, people are more interested in the new experience a toy offers than the toy itself. Think about it! Most sex toys, from anal beads to ball gags, are tried for the first time because they seem erotic and fun. Some of these toys (like certain sex acts themselves) will become part of a person’s sexual repertoire, while others are enjoyed occasionally, or, back to our point, as a novelty.
Over the course of our research, we found that many resources on male chastity devices are geared toward the committed cock cage connoisseur and not the newly curious. Lengthy and detailed descriptions on how to measure and select your cock cage are all well and good. You should absolutely do your research (we recommend watching the product videos found in the descriptions of many of our best selling chastity devices to help clarify things)
before locking up your penis and handing your partner the key. But too much information can be confusing when you’re just starting out. Whether cock cages and male chastity devices become part of your regular sexy routine or not, finding out how they work and why you or your and your partner may want to give one a go is important. So here we are!
Beginner Tips
As we mentioned earlier, most cock cage resources speak to avid or experienced users, and not the pre-beginner who has just discovered an interest in being locked up. So, when those expert-geared resources talk about things like how to wear a cock cage for several hours or even days, it can sound pretty intimidating, and maybe even kibosh the idea of trying one out altogether. That’s not good!
For a pre-beginner to beginner cock cage wearer, we suggest simply trying one on, at first. Think of a cock cage like a new pair of shoes. They might not be super-comfortable right away, but feel heavenly after you break them in. Another helpful thing to try pre-cock cage, if you haven’t already, is a cock ring or ball stretcher. These are different from a chastity device, for sure, but can help introduce your body and mind to new physical sensations in a way that can help prepare you for more intense sensations later on.
If you love c-rings but still aren’t fully ready for a cock cage, try something like the Ultimate Extender, which encapsulates like a cock cage, but is made of a cushiony TPR that makes it easy to put on and take off. Plus, it feels great for a partner, too.
If you already know that you prefer more sensuous pleasure over titillating pain, and you know your penis responds better to reward rather than punishment, treat yourself to a brand new Mr. Big Cock Silicone Cock Ring and Ball Stretcher in Black for a perfect mix of freedom and confinement. Plus it strengthens your erection.
One of our favourite cock cage companies, CB-X, offers superior styles that are more comfortable, but they require an assembly of pieces in order to achieve that proper fit. It’s kind of like a puzzle for your penis - just putting it together will probably give you a sense of pride!
While most true chastity devices are extremely restrictive when it comes to being able to touch yourself, orgasm or have an erection (that’s kind of the point!), you should still be able to sleep, urinate and do all other regular activities. If not, then we do not recommend wearing one for extended periods of time or being in a situation where your cage or device would be difficult to remove.
Why Try A Chastity Device
One of the main reasons a couple might decide to make use of a cock cage is for its effect on intimacy. Typically, partners are already engaged in some form of dominant/submissive dynamic and the cock cage can be an extension or graduated step within their relationship. If you think about it, that’s the case for couples using tools like whips and floggers or trying rope bondage, too. Over time, forms of erotic punishment and bondage have become less taboo, and couples outside of the BDSM scene have been freed up to experiment. These days, it’s more possible than ever to interpret and experiment with some of the more “hardcore” sex acts in a way that doesn’t require a full lifestyle change.
Mainstream media (looking at you, Fifty Shades!) has definitely played a part in the rise of bondage play as a more familiar and ‘acceptable’ type of sexual activity. Cock and ball cages, though, are rarely seen in any type of mainstream media. As it stands, the people most knowledgeable about cock confinement tend to hail from the more extreme BDSM community. It makes sense that, to an outsider looking in, cock cages may seem like they exist only to inflict pain and punishment. But if Christian Grey had locked up his mythical penis in a cock cage, would every couple in suburbia now own one? Honestly, they probably would!
So what can you and your partner get from using a chastity device if you’re not already in a BDSM based union? Lots! First of all, consider the dynamic. You might not refer to each other as Mistress/Master and Slave, but are you interested in surrendering your usual equality for a night of power dynamic subversion? Does the idea of full sexual power over or submission to your lover turn you on? If so, then even a few hours of play with a cock cage can bring you together in a full-on fantasy.
Talking to Your Partner About Cock Confinement
If you’re ready to talk to your partner about cock confinement and power dynamics, here’s an easy way to approach the subject. Keep things light and casual, talk about it well in advance. Sometimes a good time to talk about sexual fantasies is after you just had a great sexual exchange (especially if you both had mind-blowing orgasms). It’s a nice way to take advantage of the good-feeling release of dopamine still flooding your brain and lowered inhibitions, but it’s also a nice way to bask in post coital bliss.
Rather than getting straight into the shower or turning on the TV, take a moment to appreciate your partner and tell them what you love about them or the awesome sex you just had. If it feels like they are interested in continuing some romantic/sexy talk, casually yet directly let them know that you have a sexual fantasy you’d like to share and ask if that would be okay. Another good time to bring up the topic is while in the car driving and sitting side by side (not an Uber).
Whenever you decide to approach the subject, make sure it’s during a time you’re both having fun and there’s no sexual or romantic performance pressure on either of you. Don’t bring up the topic of sexual fantasies when your partner seems super stressed out about work, family, etc. If they imply in any way that they are not interested in hearing about your cock cage fantasy, hold off on continuing the conversation at that moment. Try not to take it as a rejection and remind yourself that you are a lovable sexual creature and it just wasn’t the right time. If you shut down, get defensive or grumpy, then it might be a long time before either of you feels like talking about it again.
This might sound like a lot of work but if you don’t feel ready for a potentially uncomfortable conversation that requires you to be present and possibly even vulnerable- then you will not like talking to your partner while you essentially have your balls in a vice. But it’s much more probable that your partner will be open to hearing what turns you on. Assuming it’s a yes to continue, simply say exactly what you want, but avoid getting into all the details until you hear their response. For example, you could say, “I think it would be hot to wear a girth enhancer while having sex with you,” or “I have a fantasy that you are in full control of my penis and I’m not allowed to touch myself or have an orgasm until you let me.” From there, make a plan for how and when you could try this out and set the boundaries by saying things like, “this is a new thing for me so I need x, y, z in order to be comfortable. What do you need from me for this to feel good for you too?”
Sometimes a couple wants to hop into the sex swing, sometimes not. Some people might only use their vibrator when they’re alone, while others might get really into riding crops and nipple clamps for a few months before wanting to switch it up again. The point is that all people have ever-evolving sexual interests and states of arousal and you have the freedom to choose to try things. You free your mind when you confine your penis, with or without it being under lock and key. And as William Wallace really did say in Braveheart… “it’s all for nothing if you don’t have freedom.”
If cock cages and chastity devices have caught your attention, keep exploring with us here at PinkCherry. You’re officially ready to be a cock cage beginner and a free man!
