Ever asked: ‘what is BDSM?’ Chances are you might think of someone wearing a ball gag as an iconic image when it comes to BDSM. It’s a symbol of alternative and kinky behavior, after all. Having the ability to speak taken away via a gag can bring about powerful feelings of submissiveness and vulnerability. These are often more pronounced than expected, so delve into the world of gags with slowness, patience, and self-care.
What is a ball gag?
A ball gag is a sub-variant of a gag, a device to control the mouth. A ball gag blocks the mouth with a ball placed inside the mouth, sometimes affixed with a leather strap, though vegan leather is used more often now . Gags are frequently used in BDSM play to ramp up feelings of helplessness and submission in the sub. Losing the ability to speak coherently and/or emote can be jarring, so take a dipping-a-toe-in level step with gags before going straight to something more devious and complex.
A gag in general, removes the ability to express via the mouth, so in order to use a gag safely, other precautions need to be taken. For example, it will be difficult to say a safe word because, after all, the wearer’s mouth has movement ability taken away. This might be through full coverage and filling from a ball or penis gag, or the mouth might be held open through a lip or ring gag. How to use these devices safely and allow alternative communication for safe words will be covered shortly.
While gags are used as a tool to demonstrate submission, sometimes having a gag or item to chomp down on can also help relax and soothe. It can also allow the wearer to go to further depths by clamping down on the gag and bearing through something. Not all gags offer this type of assurance, though; some simply hold open the mouth and lips and don’t offer any ability to bite anything.
What are the different types of gags?
While the following is a decently comprehensive list of gags, a whole lot of stuff can act as a gag. Because gag play can be risky, it’s a good idea to get something specifically made to be worn for that purpose since they have things like adjustable straps and the ability to be cut or removed easily. The best ball gag is one that can be used both safely and consensually.
Ball gag
The reason we’re all here, of course! This type of gag comes in many different sizes and is used to block the mouth entirely. These gags can have a bigger or smaller ball. If this type of BDSM gag is new to the user, it's a good idea to start with a smaller ball instead of biting off more than you can chew. ;) Going straight to a large ball gag can be uncomfortable. Additionally, depending on the mouth anatomy of the wearer, a smaller ball might fit easier. Not all mouths are constructed the same.
Ball gags can be made from many different materials, but a silicone ball gag can easily sidestep both allergy and cleanliness issues, allowing for easy cleaning and sanitization between uses. Do not just rinse a gag off with water and put it into another person’s mouth. Gags get germs and bacteria on them, and while sharing is caring, we don’t want to share in unsanitary and nonconsensual ways.
Wiffle or Breathable gag
It’s like a ball gag, but with holes! A breathable ball gag still has all the fun No-More-Talking-For-You energy, while also letting the gagged person have a bit more comfort and control over their own breath. These gags provide access to air via the breathing holes, and have the added benefit of allowing the wearer’s grunts to be more easily heard. So kind!
Despite easy access to versions of these adult sex toys made from plastic, if you’re a regular user, it’s a good idea to splurge and purchase something more body-safe and sanitary, made of a body-safe material like silicone.
Bit gag
Often accompanied by pony play, a bit gag is similar to the mouthpiece of a bridle for a horse (though hopefully made of sturdy silicone instead of metal, so as not ruin the wearer's teeth).
These gags are a little easier on the jaw, so if you or your partner have mouth issues like temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ) and still want to be a part of #gaglife, this type of gag might be a better choice.
Ring gag
Not all gags block the mouth; some actually hold the mouth in an open state while still disallowing coherent speech. This can make for some super fun dynamics, though again, you’ll want some kind of safe word equivalent -- i.e. nonverbal ways to safe word.
Size and material is very important for this type of gag, because it shouldn’t be arranged in a way that the gag can damage the wearer’s teeth.
Lip gag
This is a gag that holds the wearer’s mouth with giant faux lips that act as mouth restraints. Lip gags can make the wearer look a little ridiculous, with a constant surprised, mouth open expression, and can potentially cause the wearer to have a lot of drool buildup. If that’s the case, it’s not advised to have the open-mouth gag-wearer upside down or laying on their back, because it can be hard to swallow in those positions.
Penis gag
Ever wished the gag ball you’ve been wearing was actually shaped like a penis? Look no further than penis gags, the gag that lets you or your sub have their mouth filled by a cock all the time!
This type of gag can be done in a DIY fashion, with a handy-dandy dildo plus ring gag, but it’s advised to get a piece of specialty equipment if this is your thing. You don’t want the penis/dildo dislodging from the gag and causing you or your sub to choke. That would be very bad.
On the other hand, the shlong stuck in your mouth isn’t going to cause anyone pain if chomped, so unlike on a live human penis-haver, go right ahead and bite away!
Spider gag
Similar to a ring or O-ring gag, these gags usually also include hooks to pry the mouth of the wearer open. Those hooks resemble spider legs, giving this gag its name.
Butterfly gag
This is an inflatable gag that expands in the wearer’s mouth with every press of the pump. The gag gets its name from the two inside ‘wings’ of the gag, which inflate to either side of the mouth, thus resembling a butterfly.
Funnel gag
This type of gag reveals an even deeper dive into BDSM, as it is intended to force the wearer to drink something. This might be your jam if you’re into water-sports, or some sort of food play. Please use with caution, as these gags come with a serious choking hazard.
Service gag
This type of gag fits over the face and has a utility attachment to allow for various things to be hooked onto it. These could be items like an ashtray, so the sub wearing the gag has to hold a cigarette or cigar on the ashtray.
Maybe the focus is total humiliation, and the attachment used is something more menial, like a toilet brush. With a service gag and a little bit of imagination, the sky's the limit as to what to put on someone’s face.
Panel gag
Also called a muzzle gag, a panel gag is a gag with material covering the entire mouth, but not placing anything inside it. While this might not be as intense as having something held in the mouth, it can still be very vulnerable.
Hand gag
If wearing a gag isn’t feasible due to injury or bodily condition, something like a hand gag can fit in its place. The hand acts as a panel gag, covering the wearer’s mouth and leading to that juicy helpless feeling.
Tape gag
Often seen in movies as duct tape, this type of gag is an adhesive version of the panel gag. It’s important to note that use of duct tape is not advised at all. It can cause removal or tearing of the skin on the face and lips when taken off. Use something more forgiving and designed for the purpose like bondage tape if you’re going to go this gag route.
Pacifier
While this doesn’t have all the pomp and style of an aggressive-looking leather and steel mouth-stuffing contraption, it does effectively the same thing: makes it more difficult for the wearer to speak. This one just has the added comfort of being cute rather than hardcore.
As with many things in life, BDSM kink and fetish gear can be picked up online for fairly cheap, but the materials used in a lesser-quality sex toy tend to be lacking. If you’re going to use gags on a regular basis, it’s a good idea to buy something made from materials that are both sturdy and body-safe. It’s often worth investing in kink gear made from things like genuine leather, with a beautiful, functional buckle made to be both visually appealing as well as comfortable.
How to use a ball gag safely?
First and foremost, a person wearing a ball gag shouldn’t be left unattended. The devices are dangerous in nature and can cause asphyxiation if something goes wrong. This is less likely with smaller gags, but everyone’s mouth and jaw are shaped differently, so even though one person wore a gag and it felt comfortable, another person might not like that particular mouth gag.
Additionally, if the gag wearer has TMJ, having the mouth pried open for too long can cause pain, discomfort, and other issues. (This is in addition to the drool-all-over-the-place problems that normally come with gags.)
If you want your BDSM scene partner to wear a gag and they have TMJ, something like a bit gag might be better because it doesn’t hold the mouth open so far. Simply covering their mouth with cloth or a hand might be more appropriate, too, because these options don’t require holding the jaw in an open position.
If the gag has leather and metal connectors, beware of metal allergies like a nickel allergy. The metal will be pressed against the wearer’s skin for a while, and that can cause them problems. If the gag wearer has an allergy to metals, a fabric tying gag would be more appropriate.
It’s not safe to simply rinse a gag off -- it needs to be sanitized. It’s extremely unkind to have one person wear a gag and then pass it off, poorly washed, to someone else without their express consent. Sanitizing is sexy, y’all.
Gags can either create a lot of drool or cause dry mouth depending on the type, another critical safety tip is this: It’s not the greatest idea to leave someone gagged face-up or upside-down.
And again, the ability to express via the mouth is vastly reduced or removed entirely with a gag, so it’s important to have some predefined nonverbal safe word expressions. Maybe it’s a series of quick grunts, e.g. three quick grunts means, “I’m done.”
Depending on the severity of the BDSM scene the gag is included with, something less verbal like dropping an object might be more appropriate -- for example, “I’m done” could be expressed by dropping a set of keys held in the sub’s hands.
Tips
As a way of easing into the gag experience, try wearing a gag for a limited period of time, for example no more than 10 or 15 minutes. This can help you get used to the mouth position, and will let you know if you’re going to be able to mentally handle having something stuck in your mouth for even longer blocks of time.
Gags are just another one of many tools for bondage play. Covering up the submissive partner’s mouth can be a fun and sexy addition to your sexual activity, especially in combination with other fun devices like anal sex toys like anal dildos, an anal dilator, sex swings, or nipple clamps.
Creating the feeling of sexual pleasure in someone who is vulnerable and at your whim can be intoxicating. On the receiving end, being both immobilized through a physical restraint like straps or handcuffs and having the ability to speak clearly taken away or vastly reduced can leave you feeling defenseless and exposed. Those feelings are often the point during BDSM roleplay, but can get overwhelming quickly.
Gags are vulnerable. Wearing a gag (even for a veteran gag-wearer) might be off limits on any given day. Give yourself the breathing room (har har) to say no to gags, even if they’re a part of your regular BDSM repertoire.
And while it might seem like it goes without saying, if you or your sub is sick, no gag for you! The overdevelopment of mucus and saliva can cause the wearer to choke, and while BDSM is leaning into depravity, everyone should be alive and healthy after each scene. Just don’t wear a gag while sick. Instead it’s probably a good idea to stay home, drink some hot soup, and simply imagine all the naughty things you’ll get up to on another day.
By now, you’re probably gagging for it. ;) So get out there and get your kink on.
