Feeling Sexy from the Inside Out
When you’re in a relationship, whether you’ve been together for a decade, or have just started dating, there may be times when one (or both) of you might simply not be feeling great in the sexiness department. That’s completely normal! After all, life can get overwhelming sometimes, and sex often takes a backseat to some of the more pressing day-to-day matters. The good news is that there are all sorts of things you can do to help your partner feel sexy every day in little (and big!) ways.
Before we get to our list, let’s talk about some of the reasons why your partner, or yourself, may not be feeling particularly sexy, and how to confront these issues at the source.
Potential Health Issues Affecting Libido
There are many ways health, both mental and physical, can affect libido. If you or your partner regularly experiences a lack of sexual appetite, you, or they may want to consult with a doctor or health care professional. Physicians, therapists and OBGYN’s can work with you to help find the source of any libido issues before coming up with solutions, aids and treatment plans. Some conditions, like hormone imbalances, can be relatively easy to treat, while others, particularly of the psychological variety, may require a more focussed approach. Be sure to visit your healthcare provider annually to stay in tip-top sexual shape.
Self Confidence Issues
At one time or another, most of us may struggle with feeling sexy enough. There are all kinds of reasons for this, so keep an open mind, and try not to take their lack of sexual interest personally. Talk it out if they’re open to discussion. Remember that some confidence issues are deep-seated, and there might not be a quick fix. Reinforce their confidence with genuine, honest compliments. Remind them how much you their body, and how sexy you find them...
You’re Stuck in a Sexual Rut
When partners have been together for a while, sometimes a predictable sexual routine gets established. If you’re both enjoying yourselves, this can definitely be a good thing. Predictable orgasms are good! Sometimes, though, the routine can begin to feel a little same-old. Luckily, this one’s an easy fix. Change it up!
Something as simple as trying a new position, inviting them to a sexy romp in a different room, or even just a good old fashioned make out session when they’re least expecting it can work wonders. Maybe they even have a fantasy they’d like to play out or a new sex act they’d like to try. Maybe there’s a certain sex toy they’ve been eyeing. Talk about it!
Ways to Feel Sexy
Whether you’re here to find new ways to help your partner feel their best, or you just want to do some nice things for them, we’ve got eight ways to feel sexy together every day. Work one of these tips into your daily routine or keep one in mind for a special treat.
1. Reconnect Physically
Even if you don’t have sex every day, physical touch is a wonderful way to make your partner feel seen and adored. It can be as simple as handholding to smoking hot sex and everything in between. Kiss your partner passionately before you both leave for work or give them a cuddle before you fall asleep. If there’s an area of your partner’s body that they’re self-conscious about, you might be able to make them change their whole viewpoint by showing them you aren’t afraid to caress them there and even treat that body part as a turn-on.
2. Give them a Gift
One way to get your partner feeling sexy is giving them a present. Here are a few of our favorite ways to add a sexy twist to your “just because” gifts:
- Card with a sexy message or some dirty talk written inside
- Edible chocolate body paint or flavored lubes
- Lingerie in their (or your) favorite colors
- Sex toys that make the pleasure all about them
A few of our sex toy favorites to get them feeling sexy are:
3. Sensual Massage
If you ask just about anybody, massages make great gifts. How is a massage one of the ways to feel sexy? While a typical massage can be great for relieving stress, a sensual or erotic massage can take you right into sexy foreplay. Giving your partner’s body attention in all the right places will get them feeling sexy and in the mood. Take a look at tips on how to give the perfect erotic massage in our PinkCherry blog article. Don’t forget massage oils and candles!
4. Use Your Words
Want to feel sexy while your partner is feeling sexy too? Tell them how sexy you think they are. Tell them all about what you love about them the most and what you like best about what they do with you. Don’t be afraid to throw in a little “dirty talk.” If it’s hard to say these things face-to-face, you can always try sexting. Not sure how? Read our Sexting 101 article for a how-to guide.
5. Do Something Nice for Them
Want to get them feeling sexy and in the mood without coming across as obvious? What if we told you there were simple ways to feel sexy with a spontaneous flair? Well, you’re in luck! If there’s a chore your partner hates to complete, do it for them. Pack them a lunch or cook them some breakfast before they head into the office. Offer to put the kids to bed while they slip into something more comfortable. Set the environment in your intended sexy time space as if you’d hired a professional cleaning service. Just remember that doing things for your partner doesn’t mean they’re obligated to have sex or return any favors. These acts of kindness should come from your heart.
6. Focus on Them Before, During, and After
Hopefully, your partner and you are already feeling sexy by the time you reach intercourse, but how can you intensify your feelings? There are even more ways to feel sexy while you’re in the act with your partner. Make sure you’re focusing on both your needs thoroughly during foreplay, sex, and afterwards. If one of you is not enjoying the experience, it’s likely that the other won’t have as good of a time. While the importance of aftercare isn’t talked about outside of the BDSM community often, it’s a practice we should all follow and apply to even vanilla sex. Cuddling or doing something nice with your partner after sex is over will help them feel appreciated and respected.
7. Slow it Down
No “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” here! Feeling sexy often requires slowing down to appreciate each other thoroughly. Everyone has different needs and preferences in foreplay. If you already know what your partner enjoys best, you should try to up the ante with more time and attention to those areas and actions. If you’re looking for ways to slow it down in your foreplay and maybe even discover new things you’ll both like, you should try a sexy game. PinkCherry has games in the form of card games, board games, dice games, and more to get you both feeling sexy and in the mood. Many feature an array of positions and acts you’ll have to try out for yourself.
8. Give them a Performance
Want a surefire way to feel sexy while you’re turning them on? Try putting on a show for them. Make yourself look fabulous with some sexy lingerie (fellas, this means you too) or surprise them in your birthday suit. Set the stage by dimming your lights and turning on some slow jams. If you’re feeling embarrassed or not sure how to give an erotic dance, there are many tutorials available online to help you practice and get more comfortable.
Turn to PinkCherry When you Want to Feel Sexy
There are tons of ways to feel sexy, and PinkCherry is here to help! We carry sex toys in every category of pleasure, lustful lingerie in varying styles, selfcare products to show your partner some love, and games to keep things interesting. When you shop with us, we’re sure you’ll find exactly what you need for feeling sexy together.