Ready to talk sex and science? Let’s start with the topic of edging! If you’ve been on the prowl for new bondage ideas or high pleasure sex positions to try, you might have likely come across, the term “edging”. Edging is one of the most fun and erotic things you can do in the bedroom, especially if you’re the type of person who likes sex to last a little/a lot longer. And honestly, who doesn’t? Some of us never want the bliss to end!
Edging play is a fun way to tease yourself or your partner and really hit new levels of sexual pleasure. But what is edging, exactly, and what are the other benefits to it? Ready to find out? We’ll try not to drag it out too much (haha).
What is Edging Sex?
So, what is edgin in sex? Well, sexual edging or orgasm denial is the practice or a sexual technique of bringing yourself right to the edge of impending orgasm and then stopping yourself from actually succumbing to it. This practice has been used for decades publicly, though there is some history that it has been used for a longer time than that as a way to achieve a better and more powerful orgasm than you are used to.
Most people edge to make partnered sex last longer because they are able to extend the time they are engaged in some type of sexual activity. They do this by almost reaching the edge and then taking a break for at least 30 seconds before they start with any sexual stimulation again to build sexual tension.
First - Learn How to Read Your Orgasm
Experimentation and learning about your body are always going to make your sex life better. One of the most important things you can do is learn how to read your impending orgasm and understand the signs of when your orgasm is coming, when you are on the edge, and then what happens when you reach the edge.
Essentially, there are four different stages to your orgasm that you need to be able to read.
The first level is excitement. This is when you are first starting to get flushed and turned on - your muscles may get tense, your heart starts to beat a little faster, your mind races, and your blood flows more quickly. This is when you start getting that wet and “squirmy” feeling.
Next, you start the uphill climb. Soon enough, you will start to feel more intense feelings. You will feel that telltale winding in your stomach where you are getting closer and closer to orgasm. This is when you should start to prepare yourself for stopping or slowing down your sexual stimulation.
Orgasm is imminent. This is the stage where your nerves start to fire, and you will feel that release of your conventional orgasm. This is the stage you try to avoid when you are using an edging technique.
Recovery. After you orgasm, the tissues in your vagina or penis will start to return to their non-aroused state. All of your vitals are going to begin to normalize as well. This is the time where you can’t get aroused again for a period of time. It can last for a few minutes or a few hours - it is different for everyone.
It is important to note that everyone experiences these feelings differently, so the timeline isn’t always the same. Some people will spend a lot of time climbing that hill, while others will sprint to the top.
How to Edge Properly
There are a few different ways to go about sexual edging in the best way. However, most of them will follow the same few steps, including:
Solo Play
If you are flying solo, here are the steps on how to do it:
- Stimulating yourself to the point just before you reach an orgasm.
- Stopping the stimulation just before you climax.
- Waiting for a short time (anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes).
- Repeating the steps above until you want to achieve an orgasm.
With a partner
If you are edging a partner, here’s what you can do:
- Try to increase their sexual arousal. So, bring on all the foreplay skills you’ve mastered.
- Familiarize any vocal and non vocal cues your partner is giving to help you watch out for signs when they are about to peak.
- When your partner is about to orgasm, you can choose to reduce the stimulation or stop it completely.
- Wait for a few seconds before you start the sexual stimulation again. Repeat the steps until you’re ready or they are ready to climax.
As you can see, edging is something you can do with yourself or your partner! You may want to change positions, use different sex toys, add lube, or something else to spice things up along the way. Or maybe you want to do the same things over and over again until you reach climax.
Other Edging Techniques You Can Try
Squeezing method
Some men like to use the “squeezing” method. This method, or sexual practice, involves squeezing the top of the penis before you ejaculate and holding it until the excitement meter goes back down - then repeating the whole process.
Ballooning method
This edging technique involves touching the most sensitive part of penis only until it is fully erect and stopping the stimulation completely when they are about to orgasm. Wait for it to soften a little before doing the whole process again.
You may want to avoid waiting too long or switching to something that you don’t enjoy as much. This can cause issues in reaching the point of ejaculation again, which is the exact opposite of what you want.
Another thing you may want to think about is talking to your partner about edging or delayed ejaculation on your next sexual encounter. This isn’t something you want to spring on someone, especially if you are going to be edging them with your hands or with new adult sex toys. You definitely want to have an open discussion and see whether or not this is something they’d be interested in.
Does Edging Increase Sex Drive?
In some instances, edging can increase your sex drive. If you like to edge and it is something that turns you on, you will see an increase in your sex life. This isn’t because of the edging itself, but the fact that you are doing something you love and that turns you on, so it will make it feel like you have an increased sex drive.
What Are the Benefits of Edging Sex?
Oh, the sweet benefits! There are a lot of different benefits of participating in edging, though everyone is going to have a different experience. The benefits may depend on just how many times and how often you do edge.
More intense orgasms
Edging most notably increases the intensity of the orgasm for most people (and who doesn’t want a more intense orgasm?). This benefit occurs when you masturbate or when you participate with a partner. It is important to note that most people only experience stronger orgasms during that session.
Easier to reach orgasm (for vagina owners)
Edging can also make it easier to reach orgasm for women. Some studies have shown that women who edge while they are masturbating will have stronger orgasms and make it easier for them to achieve said orgasm - which is something many of us need help with!
Lengthening the time before orgasm (for penis owners)
For men, premature ejaculation can be embarrassing, and there isn’t much you can do about it, but some men have had success in lengthening the time before they orgasm by either edging while they masturbate or participating in edging during sex.
An opportunity to experiment with new kinks
For everyone, edging is a great way to learn about your sexual interests and triggers. Edging or controlled orgasm allows you to try new things and see whether or not they bring you closer or further away from an orgasm. This could be thinking about something (or someone) or trying something new. For women, this could be mean experimenting with clitoral pressure and for men, it might mean experimenting with anal play.
Edging is another way to encourage creativity and something different for couples who are looking to spice up their sex lives. Edging provides a new way to get to know each other’s bodies, and it’s also a fun way to tease each other for a long time.
Possible health benefits
There are other health claims about the benefits of edging, including some benefits for prostate cancer, however those have not been fully proven yet.
Is Edging Really Worth It?
A lot of people ask the same question about edging - it is really worth it to drag sex out that much? For so many of us, particularly women and people with vaginas, it can be hard enough to reach an orgasm, let alone delay it and try to reach one again. Edging is generally considered safe and one of the best ways to have an intense orgasm. It is also a great way for couples to learn more about each other and their bodies.
It is particularly worth it for those people who have trouble with premature ejaculation because it not only lengthens the experience, but it encourages you to learn more about your body and how it feels when you are getting closer to the edge, so you can keep this in mind for future sessions.
Obviously, not everyone enjoys edging either. If it is something you don’t like about it, you can always try to change that element. You might want to watch porn and see how you react when they are being edged. Maybe you want to try to edge on your own before you do it with a partner.
Of course, you probably don’t want to start out with a long, intensive edging session. Maybe you only want to go a few times and then build your way up as you try edging more and more. The great news is that it’s your edging session, so you can do what you please. There’s no wrong way to edge between the sheets!
Edging Sex & Spicing Up Your Sex Life
Edging involves a little bit of extra work to get a whole lot of extra sexual pleasure. And that’s what we like to hear! It involves stimulating yourself or your partner to the edge of an orgasm, then stopping, and starting up again. It can lead to a far more intense orgasm and can increase the amount of time you are actively having sex and engaging in foreplay. A total win-win!
Edging can be pleasurable for all involved, but it particularly benefits those who experience premature ejaculation or couples who struggle to reach orgasms at the same time. It’s important to remember that edging also isn’t for everyone, so if you try it and don’t like it, that’s completely ok. But for those who want to extend their stay in Pleasureville, edging is the way to go!
